Confusing Love (One Direction Fanfic)

First Time

"I just want to um, try something we've never done before..."

"W-what do you mean?" I asked, suddenly feeling insecure and worried. Niall stepped forward slowly, taking my hand in his and smoothing my fingers lightly with his thumb. "You know what I mean," he whispered softly, looking nervous too as his deep, ocean blue eyes gazed at me.

"Are you sure? I thought you didn't want to do this..before marriage." It was really awkward saying that since well, we're not actually married..and he could change his mind and not want me anymore.

"Well, I've been waiting so long to do this," he mumbled as he searched for the right words, blushing as I smiled at him. He was so adorable and perfect. "I wanted to make it special, and at the right time," he continued, still staring into my dark eyes.

"You actually want to...I mean..with me?" I didn't really think I was very..uh..sexy. "Of course I do, love. I want you to be my first time." I was slightly stunned as he said the words, feeling unworthy of how sweet and thoughtful he was.

"You don't think I'm..awkward?" I knew we should probably..um..get started or whatever, because I really did want to with him, but I was honestly scared that I would never be good enough. He laughed,

"You don't have to be so scared, Lily. I promise I won't intentionally hurt you. If you don't want to, then we don't have to." "No! I want to!" I replied a little too loudly. I sighed in embarrassment, my eyes lowering to my purple polka-dot socks. I was such a loser.

His strong arms pulled me into a loving embrace, assuring me that it would be okay..but I still had doubts about myself. "What if I ruin our first times?" I distressed. "Baby, everything will be fine. You're beautiful and amazing. Don't doubt yourself."

His head pulled back from the hug, holding my face in his hands so he could watch my expression. "I'll do it all wrong," I blinked back tears. This was so pressuring and it was making me anxious.

I wanted this; I wanted him..but what if I leave him wishing he got more out of it. "Shhh," Niall put his finger to my lips, his breath on my face making me forget all that I'd been stressing over. My legs wobbled as he gently pulled me over to my bed, picking me up effortlessly and setting me on the edge of my bed. "I love you with everything that I am." He kissed my cheek and smiled a small smile.

"Lily," he spoke my name with a serious yet endearing voice. "Niall," I giggled, pushing aside the overwhelming uneasiness for a moment. He grinned and waited until he knew I would be quiet and listen. "I'm listening," I ensured. "Do you trust me?"

His voice was filled with concern and discomposure, as if he was actually as freaked out as I was. "Yes, completely," I answered, brushing my hand across his cheek. He stared at me with a smile, seeming like he wanted to know if I was ready. Usually, this sort of thing isn't something you prepare for, it just happens naturally, but I'm ready.

I nodded and his eyebrows furrowed, almost as if he was thinking about something. Then, he relaxed and climbed onto my bed, moving both of us to the middle. "I love you," I murmured. His face came closer to mine and my arms hooked around his neck. "Love you too."

(Okay,I feel like this story is about to go from Sesame Street to After...jk but yeah I don't have experience so don't judge too harshly please.)

His perfectly shaped lips brushed against mine, not kissing me until I pulled his face even closer. Our pair of lips connected, moving with each other instinctively. His hands moved up my thighs and onto the small of my back, forcing the space between us to disappear.

I felt his wet tongue slip in between my lips, almost startling me. He smiled into the kiss and roughly grabbed my body, pushing me onto him. I was so surprised by his sudden change of actions that I bit his lip causing him to break away from the kiss and groan.