𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚋𝚒𝚝 III chishiya x female reader *discontinued*

chapter 35

We will survive.

3 simple words said with such astonishing confidence. Now, what is confidence itself? Is it a trait? A feeling? Maybe an instinct? In my opinion, it depends, if your mind is foul, it can be simply just egoism or narcissism. If your mind is pure, it could be a symptom of being sure of something, knowing you are correct. But I realized too late that in this world, the players were picked precisely for the reason of not having such a simple structure, an easy life.

It isn't morally correct to destroy something that isn't already damaged, right?

Sometimes, people do things without a reason, do things for the sake of action, maybe even thrill. Everyone did it occasionally, after all, we were humans, the sole mistake makers of the universe. But some didn't understand the concept of a reason, they physically couldn't grasp the theory of questioning or being aware, actually finding it tiring to even try to care.

The confidence they held, wasn't anything other than a play they learned from watching others. It was an illusion, but not created for them. In some twisted way, they were immune to everything that holds humanity down mentally, people mistaking their nature for a trait or a feeling, maybe an instinct. They were unpredictable, unreadable, unsolvable. There was nothing.

I was scared, I am scared of them. But then why god made them so, intriguing?

I am sorry for feeling that way.

„I am actually not sorry for pushing you into the pool." I blurbed out while we walked beside each other in the golden hallway, Chishiya glancing at me with a scoff. „I mean-" I let out a nervous laugh, not understanding what came into me, maybe just the guilt I felt needing to be balanced by honesty. „Well, you were quite mean and did some questionable things." I raised my eyebrows at myself before a painful silence fell upon us.

After the little water party we had and the heated yet confusing moment with the deep questions made something as if snap between us. I don't think anything changed in my feelings, but I could feel Chishiya's presence be more intense, not in a bad way but more like as if he changed his view on me. It was like I was on a secret mission when I walked with him, and probably I was since he is planning something to do with Arisu and probably Usagi too.

I didn't know what to tell them about Chishiya, warning them about his shady tendencies felt like a betrayal to him, but not telling them anything felt like I was sending them on death row. Everything felt like a moral dilemma, at least our meeting with Kuina happening yet again in Chishiya's room made me feel a little bit more normal, the embarrassing silence Chishiya let out on the walk there totally canceling my excitement. Why did I even open my mouth?

„I wasn't mean to you." he stated, still not wearing any top, the wet hoodie slung on his shoulder that shrugged after he let out the sentence. What can I answer to that? His vague way of talking always puts me in the most awkward positions, the man not even trying to mentally corner me or anything. „How could I have been mean to you when I voluntarily kissed you?"

I snapped my head at him with wide eyes, his almost pouting expression making him appear more like a dog than a cat, the man genuinely confused. I shook my head slowly at him, not wanting to admit that he was partially telling the simple truth, but at the same time, I knew that it happened just because of the heat of the moment. I bit my lip at the unpleasant thought, while Chishiya raised his eyebrows at me and shrugged, his door already in our view.

The people that grouped in the hallway, quickly disbanded at the sight of us, their laughter dying down as we came closer. Even if Chishiya didn't have a reputation to be violent or to hurt people, everybody knew he was a smart guy, always playing games in a way that he made it look easy or enjoyable to some point. They didn't fear him, they feared how he alters his own reality for his benefit.