𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚋𝚒𝚝 III chishiya x female reader *discontinued*

chapter 49

TW: mention of suicide but not really

Chishiya was never a person to talk. To some extent, he oddly never found anyone who would spark the desire to open his mouth. At least he thought that he didn't. And yes, maybe if in his head, sometime during the peace of the night, the idea of finding a human that would reach his high standards did come, Chishiya would have just simply shaken his head and ignore the stupid thoughts.

His rather cold front, as people use to describe it as, held steady since he was a child. An innocent kid who never experienced anything cruel, anything malicious, had the coldest glint in its eyes. But the one small spark always peeked out, because the child wasn't unhappy. It truly wasn't.

Everyone did always wonder, Chishiya noticed the curiosity always, knowing that the mysterious look he always had going on did intrigue people. He was really confused about that. Didn't they find danger in the unknown? Because he certainly did. But... Feelings change over time.

And the blonde man wasn't afraid of change as he was afraid of changing.

He loved books. From a young age, his parents forced him to read, perhaps to broaden his view of the world. It wasn't his hobby though, or something he liked, oddly enough, he didn't enjoy it. He couldn't remember any words that his child self read, just blurs of metaphors and useless stories.

Then why did he liked The Little Prince so much? 

It was just another melancholic life of a boy, meeting creatures he didn't understand at all. 

But, Chishiya did understand them. He wasn't a child anymore. They all acted the same, they all felt pain the same, even their faces seemed to water down into one in his mind every time he saw them again and again. Except few, of course, Chishiya did have some mutuals that weren't as dull as the rest of the world. And the sharp personalities they all were adorned with, did make a small dent in his memory.

He wasn't unfeeling. He just wasn't bothered to be. Right?

Sometimes as he looked at the stars, he did wish that two of them would collide, upon the contact, only the bright light seen and the goosebumps descending on his skin. Chishiya loved when that happened. It did make him feel something, feel life, feel the world that he breathed in.

 Being alive was his biggest priority, solely on the fact that it was the only. That's why he never had a mess in his head, no other worries dominating his mind. Until he met someone, a person who may have been even more twisted than him. A person who sometimes made Chishiya stop, just to steady his heartbeat, only one thing going through his mind.

„They are so innocently vile."

Y/n always thought of that line as she looked around the world, the faces of the people so hazy in her mind. Oddly enough, she remembered things more clearly when she was a mere child, the smells, the scenes, voices, the words... They were the only memories still pure and sheltered from the drug abuse she went through.

She hated talking about it. Y/n was a person to rather ignore it and move on. It was her fault anyway. Right?

It wasn't forced on her, well, on most occasions. The numerous highs she endured were indeed fake to some context, as the marihuana and alcohol slowly seeped into her bloodstream, she had to sometimes stop, just to catch her breath. Throwing herself on a random couch, the apartment flickering with some dim shitty lights, the people around here disappearing as she closed her eyes.

Weirdly enough, she never truly regretted being that type of person.

It was fun, Y/n met a lot of people, laughed a lot, broke few hearts, rejected few people, even fucking killed someone. It was humorous as she sometimes looked down on the ground, her eyes skimming every dent in the floor, a smile on her face as the morality slipped away.