𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚋𝚒𝚝 III chishiya x female reader *discontinued*

chapter 40

My body was paralyzed, only the shivers that ran on my skin alert me that I am still there, the sky as if getting even darker. My mouth felt dry, his words like sandpaper, roughing up my composure. I exactly knew that he was teasing me in some twisted way, aware that I am not as innocent as I painted myself to be. The silence was stabbing me in my throat, my wide gaze focused on Chishiya's face, a feline smirk pulled at his lips.

He lowered the dagger and didn't pay attention to me, twirling it in his sculptured hands. I almost swore that the pointy blade will pierce his skin, creating a blood oath for between the split soul he had. But of course, Chishiya was cautious without even trying, expertly gliding his fingers on the decorated silver, his eyes intrigued by it.

He didn't look on edge, quite oppositely, running his veiny hand through his hair, thus creating a middle part, the loosen-up appearance not yet seen by my eyes the whole time we knew each other. Slowly I started to feel my arm and legs again, the numbness that overtook them vanishing at his careless presence. I wanted to say something, but there was truly nothing that could be appropriate.

„Hm, Hiroto wouldn't die in a way like that, but then again, I don't know..." Chishiya spoke up, with a small smile. It wasn't vile or malicious, it was almost melancholic, surely having some memories with the late boy. My tight lips quivered slightly as I gripped the blanket closer to me, scared to look into his eyes again. Was he going to stab me or drown me?

„I was never good with hearts." 

And Chishiya wasn't too. The words slipped out, the first thought that went through my head manifesting onto my tongue. Maybe it was because I wanted to distract him from the fact that he is has a suspicion that I am involved with Hiroto, or maybe because I simply wanted to open up like him. Either way, Chishiya slowly turned his head to me at my verbal approach, a teasing smirk pulled at his face.

„I don't want to admit it, but I did miss you actually talking." I chuckled as Chishiya mused, realizing that I indeed don't talk much with him as I used to. Even if the situation wasn't the most ideal, the happiness settled in my stomach, before I started to indulge in my deep talk.

„You know, I may seem like a normal person in the empathy section, but sometimes I don't understand the simplest emotions people or I go through. It's like I can suck the energy and I think I know what goes on, in reality, I am completely wrong. I blame myself, I blame my heart."

I finally looked at Chishiya, to see him intensely watching every one of my movements, the dagger he once had in his hand disappearing. My mouth shut for a second, debating if should continue to pour my feelings out, but as his eyes dipped down to my bare neck, there was nothing to stop my ramble.

„That's why I like you. You don't go by the heart, you go by your mind. I admire you for it, even if some find it as cold or rude." I bit my lip and tear my gaze away, not wanting to see his reaction entirely. It was the most defying silence ever, not even the waves of the bass could over scream it, but the carefully picked sentences were something I would be forever proud of.

It was the most beautiful sound. I always find it cliché when people said that a burst of laughter was heavenly or addictive but now I understood. Chishiya laughed for the first time ever, shaking his head to the sides as if he didn't believe what I just said. Of course, I was gazing at him curiously with a swiftly appearing grin, probably a big bright sparkles in my eyes at the rather attractive scenery in front of me.

He looked different. Chishiya looked happy.

And boy, the second he too participated in the eye contact, my throat dried out, and my head went blank. He looked so much younger, almost like a kid, his careless light hair just begging to be moved away from his face. I didn't have time to do that though, since he swiftly stood up, not taking his gaze away from me, his T-shirt risen up around his waist area before he pulled it down.