Our Choices Make Us

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Hi everyone, sorry for the late update, I have been revising and editing the book as there were a few things I wanted to change and I wanted the story to be more clear. That being said, I slightly changed y/n's character in the beginning, while it doesn't impact the main plot it does give a little more depth to Y/N.

May 15th, 1996

I was laid back on the grass, looking up at the clouds and listening to the sounds of nature. I should've been in the class but the outside looked too pretty to just sit in a classroom.

"Can I sit here?" I turned my head to see Draco standing above me holding a bag of food, and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Be my guest" I turned my head back up to face the clouds, watching them move slowly as I felt him lay next to me

"Good, because either way, I would've sat down," He said and started opening his food making me immediately sit up "What did you bring"

He looked over at me and smiled a little "Every candy that ever existed in the earth, courtesy of my mom," He said, handing me a chocolate frog

"Thank you Narcissa" I took a bite "Speaking of your mom, have you told her?" I asked, looking over at him

He got quiet "No, Y/N you know I can't"

"Yeah, it's a stupid question..." I looked down "Anyways, what's your plan for summer?"

"Y/N, we can't just ignore-" He began

"I'm not ignoring it, I've come to terms with it," I said quickly, taking another bite of my chocolate frog and looking out at the lake

"It's nothing to do with you, you're a really good friend Y/N," He said before looking away from me

Friends

Yeah, friends. I have to remember that. I have to push down the feeling of butterflies whenever he looks at me, we're only friends.

"You're a good friend too Draco" I smiled, I saw his body tense up for a second, "What are you doing this summer?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"My family is having a ball this august. I'm getting a new suit" He looked back up and me and smiled

"Well, some girl is going to be very lucky to see you." I smiled back "Tell me how it goes when school resumes, okay?"

He nodded "I'll be sure to" He rested his hand on mine, I looked at him trying to remember every detail of his face. The way his hair rested lazily against his forehead, I loved how it looked now versus the first year.

I wanted to remember everything about him, his laugh, his smile. Everything.

Because I knew one day it would be gone

/////////////

I focused on the spot I was supposed to land in, looking around and seeing that Luna, Neville and, Spencer had already gotten in. I took a deep breath and suddenly felt like I was being forced through a very tight rubber tube. No matter how many times I did this the feeling never changed.

I looked up and saw I was in the spot. I had done it, over three months of hard work and I had mastered apparition. I looked at Luna who smiled at me and I gave her a thumbs up in return.

"Miss L/N," the instructor said and I quickly turned back to her, resisting the urge to curse or scream at the fact that she appeared out of nowhere.

"Yes ma'am?" I looked at her, she smiled lightly at me "Congrats, here's your license, please be safe". She handed me the license with my name and birthday on it, I still couldn't believe I was an adult now.

I ran over to Luna who immediately hugged me "I'm so proud of you!" I said and she hugged me tighter.

Spencer and Neville walked over to us, Neville showed me his license as well, he had come so far from his first year. I've loved watching him grow and become his own person.

I looked over at Spencer, he looked so proud of me. I hugged him nervously but he immediately returned "Y/N, I am so proud of you." I began to thank him but he stopped me "Don't thank me, it was all you" I stepped away from the hug and smiled at him before seeing Draco walking to hogshead behind him.

"I'll be back in a second. Save me a seat at three broomsticks!" I said before walking over to him, I exhaled slowly before calling his name "Draco" I said a little loud and he looked over at me. I motioned for him to come over and so he did.

"Congrats Y/N, you did well" He smiled, I smiled a little before I snapped myself back to reality "Thank you, I'm glad you passed as well. So, um now that the test is over, you can have this back" I pulled off the ring but he shook his head and pushed it back

"No, you keep it," He said but I still tried to give it to him "I'm fine now, besides don't you want to give it to someone else? I heard you've been going out with Astoria Greengrass, I'm so happy for you"

"Y/N...are you okay?" He asked, his face full of concern. I laughed nervously "no yeah I'm good. perfectly fine!" I smiled

"So...me going out with Astoria..." he said quietly as if he was testing me

"Totally fine, I mean it's not like we're dating right? She's probably all good with you know...and I'm not so she's obviously a better fit for you. And I bet your family loves her." I said rather quickly, I saw him begin to speak "I have to go, Spencer and all of my friends are waiting for me, here, I bet she'll love it." I said before I put the ring in his hand and walking away.

I wanted to turn around and look at him but I refused. I don't know what that was, I mean I was still....mad at him for what he did. Why would it matter if he was dating Astoria?

We're not even dating anymore...so why would it matter to me?

I walked into three broomsticks and saw my friends, including Cho, sitting at the table in the back. Neville waved me over and I sat down next to him.

"Y/N, I haven't seen you in so long, I've missed you!" She said, sitting across from me

"Sorry...I've been um studying," I said quietly, Neville slid a butterbeer over to me, I took a drink, seeing Neville face with the same concern Malfoy had

"Y/N, what's wrong?" He asked as I took another swig of the butterbeer, I looked over at Spencer who was talking to Cho

"Hm? Oh, nothing...I just have a headache, I was up late studying" I said, plastering a small smile on my face

Neville looked like he wanted to say something but didn't. I looked down at my hands under the table, my leg was bouncing rapidly.

"Um...what did it feel like for you guys when you apparated? To me it felt like I was being forced through a very tight rubber tube" I looked back up at them.

They all began talking about how it felt for them. I looked around me, there were so many couples around me. I looked at Neville and Luna, their relationship was so pure. Cho and Spencer's were something new and undiscovered. I felt so guilty for feeling the way I did.

I chose to be here, I chose to sit without him and shut him down. It was my choice.

It was my choice to stop feeling his lips crashing against mine, and it was my choice to stop hearing his beautiful laugh. I couldn't see his eyes and how they reflected the love we have....had....for each other. I have no one to blame but myself.

I had a choice to do what I did.

And every day, I question if it was the right choice.

Word Count: 1385

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