Draco Task

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June 30th
Draco's Pov

The day had finally come, a year of fixing the cabinet and hoping I wouldn't fuck this up to bad, I worked tirelessly all year, and yet, I still wasn't sure if I could do it

I woke up that morning and for just a moment, I was at peace. Only for a moment, and then reality hit me again. I couldn't run away this time.

I got dressed and headed down to the common room, where Crabbe and Goyle were waiting for me, I didn't talk to them. I couldn't talk to anyone, I couldn't risk losing focus on the task ahead. Nothing could distract me, except for her.

I tried to avoid her during the day, which wasn't hard as I didn't talk to her during school but it was the night that killed me. We had met up every night, and I couldn't even imagine her face when I denied her visit. Especially on a night where she knew I could be endangered. I thought if I were to just not talk to her she'd get the hint.

At breakfast I didn't even glance at her, I distracted myself by talking to Crabbe and Goyle. I don't remember what they said, I wasn't listening anyway. I could hear her laugh, I resisted the urge to look up and see who made her laugh. Eventually, it was too much to handle and I walked out of the Great Hall. I heard the quiet clicks of her shoes behind me but I kept walking. The small clicks went away after a few minutes, guilt pooling in my stomach from ignoring her.

Lunch was fine, she didn't show up. Potions, on the other hand, was exceptionally difficult. She's extremely smart and yet she messed up her potion so many times. I was tempted just to go over and fix it, or at least tell her what she was doing wrong. I never realized how much we truly did talk during school, or how much I loved the small amount of talking we had.

I didn't show up to dinner, she was distracting me too much. I stayed in my dorm, mentally preparing for the task that was in a few hours.

Everyone was expecting me to do this, to kill Dumbledore. I wanted to meet their expectations so bad, I could fix my family's reputation, and possibly have the approval of my father.

But what if I didn't? What if today was my last chance of redeeming myself to my father and The Dark Lord. What if I die? I don't want to die anymore. I want to have kids, and if they find out what I did, will they hate me? I would.

My worries don't matter because despite what I think, I have to do this, even if it kills me inside. My mind had been running for half an hour when I heard a knock at my door. I knew who it was, she always knocked three times.

It was risky for her to be out there, but I couldn't open the door, for I knew if I did...I wouldn't do the task. I knew that despite what she said she hated what I had become. I loved her too much to tell her that I didn't know if I could do the task.

"Draco?" Her quiet voice said from the other side of the door, knocking again as she called for me again.

"Go away Y/N," I said, a little meaner than I meant to, I waited for the sound of her walking away, but she didn't. "Y/N, I said go away," I said a little firmer

She spoke a little louder "How long do I have to wait for you to come to your senses?"

I got off of my bed and opened the door a little aggressively, I looked down to see her tapping her foot angrily, I looked back up and met her eyes.  "What do you mean 'come to my senses'" I asked, trying and failing to hold back the anger that seeped out.

She sighed "You've been ignoring me all day, I don't know why but can we not do this today. I'm already worried enough about you without having to consider you being pissed at me"

I looked around, not seeing anyone around, I pulled her into my room. She stood by the door while I paced around the room. It was quiet for a bit before I broke the tension between us. "I'm not pissed off at you Y/N"

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