Ch.18 - About To Lose Her Mind

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All this RDJ footage has me dizzy in love. Like new stuff everyday? I'm going to feel so deprived when this tour is done, my gosh.

Anyway, I can't reply to over half of the comments on the last chapter for some reason. I mean for the first 7 I could see them, but now I can't and I can't respond to them either. So sorry. Urg. Ill try and figure it out but I promise I'm not ignoring you if I don't answer back, it's just most of the first ones I can't actually see on this dumb app. Urg. Anyways. Sorry about that.

You're all amazing. Enjoy this chap and tHREE WEEKS TILL AOU AHHHHHHHHH (RDJ looked so fabulous at last nights MTV awards, my gosh 50?!! Nope nope).

Enjoy!

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She doesn't want to drink around people. She drinks alone, and there's a reason for that.

People are everywhere and Charlotte briefly wonders if they've simply stuffed the whole of the neighbourhood into this house. It's weird, she doesn't like it. It's too strange for all this to be happening here, not at home. She was used to it at home but here, people kept coming up to her asking where things are and heck, she doesn't know. To her, she still doesn't live here.

Another thing she doesn't like is the fact her parents keep taking people around the house, showing off rooms, including the room in which she sleeps. That space that's been claimed as Charlottes, but it's not. The boxes tell you that and everyone who sticks their head in there.

People whom she's never met coming up trying to talk to her, or welcome her with hugs and she keeps having to fake a cough to explain the no hugs thing. No touching. Limited talking. That sort of deal.

She feels very uneasy, and that makes her want to drink, especially when she's back at the house, because it's an easy fix. A couple sips and so much is better, but she can't. She knows why she can't and she won't.

Plus there's Molly. Uninterrupted amounts of energy seems to be the theme for the six year olds day. Moll loves people, adores them. She's an extravert and feeds off of all the energy. Plus she's just...six.

She's adorable and full of laughter and it helps. It does. Alleviates some of her stress, her nervous energy, and sweaty palms.

She forgets she's nineteen sometimes, by the way she acts (recently). She used to be full of confidence, still shy, but could hold a good conversation. Or at least if she had a buddy or known person with her when she had to interact beyond her boundaries.

It was like all of high school, each jump in grade, she felt like she was more adult than the last, and the last grade she had been, what she thought, was hitting full maturity. A full fledging adult. Ready to take on the world.

After high school though, she honestly hadn't remembered feeling so kid like. So new to things and embarrassing herself and just all of it.

Like with Mr.Downey. Again.

This time was different though. She couldn't exactly describe how it was but she could see it. The way it was putting aside the bullsh*t and accepting that things weren't just fine. That people could hold up an image and be feeling something completely different. Like Mr.Downey.

She didn't want to run from him this time. Quite the opposite.

She trusted him. She really did. She didn't think maybe she could. She did. That realization had certainly been a new strangeness to digest.

There was something safe about him. Probably the fact he had shown himself to be just that. Kind and gentle.

He knew. He could see past all her barriers that something was wrong. More so than anyone else in her life.

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