Say My Name [ Teacher-Student Romance -- Robert Downey Jr ]

Ch.31 - Bandaids To Wounds

Hope you enjoy reading this as I did writing it. So anxious to know what you guys think if it :)

35+COMMENTS = NEW CHAPTER (not by one person but I appreciate your love :) )
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Would she had liked to stay home the next following days? Yes, from the results of drinking way passed her limits. Did she need to stay home because of one text? No. No, its because of that text she needs to go to school even more so. To distract her mind. Get her back on track.

Although she is shakier, and back to that undercurrent of nervousness thrumming steadily instead of just on and off. So yeah, even when she's safe in her bed, trying to read or do homework at some awful hour, she still feels shaky. Still a bit unnerved. She had gotten past that, and she's still better than she was, but she's definitely been knocked down a few pegs. Ugh.

Anyways. It might sound ridiculous to those who don't know but it's honest. Trust her word, trust that just one text can root you straight back to step one. Like the jail card in monopoly. You know it's in the deck, hope it doesn't come your way, but when it does there's nothing you can do but wait for time to pass and deal with it as best you can.

Except this wasn't a game.

It's her life.

There's only so much sanity a person can handle under stress. Past that is when the inner lunacy has it's time in the sun.

She feels like maybe she really is wrapped up in one of those white straight jackets, sitting in a round room with padded walls and pale lighting. Maybe then she would actually feel like what was going on in her head was as crazy as it feels. Like she's some third thing just watching as her body and mind falls apart time and time again.

So today. Not a word muttered today. Only really shuffling along sticking closely to her friends, closer than she's used to being around people she's still a little new to, but the fear of burning inside is overwhelmed by the fear of Him popping up and leaving her hopelessly helpless.

She has that stupid phone in her pocket even though she knows it's the one thing between herself, Him, and breaking down. He could send another text at anytime, any moment, and she could be back sinking into the ground.

Could be in the middle of class, could be in the halls, the drive in the morning dropping off Molly or making their way here. Anywhere--and it's doing absolute magic with her anxiety.

And it's not like she can just ignore her phone, the miracle it still works. What if her dad texts (he rarely does) and Molly's in the hospital? Or her mom needs to call her to say Molly will be home alone if Charlotte doesn't find a way back to the house before four?

Wishing whole heartedly she could smash her phone to bits, but she cant. Anything to do with Molly, to protect the one thing she can't live without. She needs it.

The flip of the two sided coin is He texts saying he's in Seattle, he's going to the house, he's found her, he sees her.

Stumbling with wide eyes at that thought, blood pressure elevated, and the panicked urge to throw the scary device in the fast flowing river. Watch it sink to the wispy waves below, under darkness and dirt. Feeling satisfied that her phones been terminated and long forgotten, only when the sound of rushing water and scrapping along the rivers bottom is the last use the receiver ever bares.

Then its this parallel feeling where she thinks, maybe, she's not talking about the thing she is. Like inside her, something deep is trying unearth itself into the gardens of her torn up mind or plant a seed and secretly tell her how much easier it could all be.