The Don's Doc

Ch. 38. Un-understandable

Aman's POV

Love.

What is this? I don't know it. I don't know what is love. Nor that I want to know. I don't believe in this. I don't believe in love. I don't believe the things that I can't see in my physical eyes. And so I don't believe it.

They say love makes you weaker. Love, family, this things are boring. There's no place for those in my life, in our life. In mafia.

I saw many times before what these things can do to you. They can ruin you, totally destroy you. Cause I did that many times. You want to know some secret, caught that person and force him. At the first they don't open their mouth. But as soon as you point your guns on the head of his loved ones, his family, he will begging you to tell everything. Begging you to left his family, his love. So from that I decided that love is nothing. I mean what is love? Another meaningless definition of sex. That it. So why people tell that they're in love? Total bullshit!

And about Jasmine, my Fiore, I want her. I simply want her. All of her, just for me. I never ever felt the pull for any other girls. It's like a drug to me. The much I get, the more I want. I want her to be with me, under me, on top of me. Always and forever. It's simple. There is no thing like love here. I don't love her. I know clearly I can't spent all the time here, I have to go back to home, Italy. So until I am here, she is all mine. But I just can't do any wrong with her, I just can't. God, it feels so wrong to be rough with her, when I easily even kill anyone. I want to hide my demons from her, my bad doings, everything that would hurt her. Why? I don't know.

I tossed and turned on the bed all night long. Fucking hell I want her. Even thinking about her made me hard, like a fucking teenager. And I hate it. I hate this feeling.

When I opened my eyes it's almost 9 a.m. I groaned and stretches all over. My muscles are a bit sore from the last night. I entered into the bathroom and open the shower. The cold water make my body feels a little normal then before.

After the shower I get dressed up and left the room. In the dining room Mike and Jordan are sitting, drinking coffee. I went to the counter and pour myself some. The bitter taste of coffee opened my taste buds.

"Morning! I heard you went to the lotas last night. You should told me." Mike placed his empty mug on the table.

"Hmm. Morning." I looked at both of them. Jordan just nods his head in reply. Not talkative much. "I thought you would be busy. How is Jasmine now?"

"What?" Mike looked at me. "Isn't she with you?" He looked at Jordan.

"What are you talking about? Why should she be with me? Isn't she in her room?" I put down the mug.

"No. She isn't. I checked it the first thing in the morning. Then I thought that maybe she was with you. Cause you have a habit to bothering her. But then where is she?" Mike frowned and pull out his phone. "Let me call her."

"Wait. Don't call." I stopped him and stands up. "I think I know where is she." She is going to get a earful from me for not listening to me.

As I thought. I told her to get into her room last night. But no, she doesn't listen to me, still sitting in the swing chair. Did she just spent the whole night here?

I sighed and went in front of her. I thought she would be awake, but she is fast asleep tucking her face in between her legs, hugging herself. Foolish girl! She just spent the whole chilly night when she just recovered. I went close to her and freed herself from her tight grip. She just mumble something inaudible and rest her head back on the side.

I frowned looking at her face. There are traces of dried tears, running down her checks. Was she crying? But why does she crying? I ticked my jaw in anger. Whoever make her cry like this is going to die, surely. I touched her check, it feels hot under my touch.