maple syrup | remus lupin [1]

62. you promised

JAMES POTTER HAD not kept his promise, because none of the boys spoke a single word to Claudia the next day.

In fact, none of them spoke to her at all for five whole weeks, because Remus had told them. He had them the truth about the books, and about the conclusion that he had jumped to as he read one of them.

The conclusion that was that Claudia hated werewolves.

The conclusion that caused Remus to hate himself more than he ever had before because of his lycanthropy.

Remus was a complete mess. He loved the girl so much that it ached in him, but that didn't change the fact that he thought that she would hate him if she ever found out about his condition.

And he wasn't going to make the pain worse than it already was for himself - so he simply chose to act as if he had never even known her to protect himself and, in some ways, her as well.

He figured that they were better off apart, because he couldn't stand the thought of her finding out and hating him.

What he didn't know was that Claudia already knew that he was a werewolf.

And, he also didn't know that she had spent the entire night of the previous full moon staring out the window as she listened to the howls and pained sounds that came from him; crying as she did so out of pure worry and anger.

Claudia was furious that he had to face so much pain and suffering. She recognised it all too well, and she would have never even wished it on her worst enemy - and especially not on the boy she loved so much.

Despite the short few months that they had been close, Claudia felt like she had known the boy her entire life. In ways she sort of had, because he had always been in the hallways taking notice of her - and sometimes she had taken notice of him as he did so.

And, in ways, Claudia had known him her entire life; because around him, she felt almost reborn. As if her old clutters and mistakes were gone - as if she was brand new.

She plainly and simply loved him - and absolutely nothing could change that.

The fact that he ignored her and didn't look her way couldn't change that. The fact that he walked away as soon as she said anything and the fact that he didn't collaborate when they were paired together in Defence Against the Dark Arts couldn't change that either.

She was so in love with him that it ached in her each time something like that happened; but it didn't make her love him any less.

This pretty much caused her to feel completely lost. She was alone for the most part, with the exception of Pandora and Mary, and partly Betty and Inez - but they couldn't guide her like he could.

Claudia wouldn't let them in. She was still a little upset with Betty, and when it came to the rest of them she was just sick of feeling like a burden.