maple syrup | remus lupin [1]

132. four little words

WHILST WATCHING CLAUDIA and Remus be all in love in the Great Hall, the hallways and the library, Regulus Black often wondered what it felt like to be able to do that.

To be able to hold hands in public, make each other laugh loudly without worrying and smiling at one another without raising suspicions.

Now, Claudia and Remus weren't exactly all for public displays of affection, because neither were the type, but everyone around them could sense the sparkful air that surrounded them as they looked at one another.

Regulus was no exception of that. But, unlike everyone else, he felt ashamed to wish that he had just what they did.

Because, you see, Regulus was in love. Far more in love than he had ever wanted to admit.

And, of course, he believed that he couldn't be in love. Because what future could he possibly have with Nicolas Clarke?

Well, he never could answer that question that he asked himself every night. Nor could Nicolas.

The both of them just went on with their lives, pushing the thoughts of how much it would ruin the two of them if anyone found out away.

They stayed together. They continued to meet up almost every night in broom closets, to tell each other their deepest and darkest secrets and thoughts, and to love on another in secret.

But, this "thing" that had been going on for over a year had no label on it. No, they weren't officially together. They weren't boyfriend and boyfriend.

And Regulus had grown to accept it. He was plenty younger, and their relationship was as forbidden as could be. It didn't make sense for them to hold hands in public, call each other by that special word or even say the three unspoken words that would've meant so much if only they would've dared to say it.

But Regulus knew that he one day would say those three words. He just had to pack up the courage to do it.

Yet, he didn't know if Nicolas would ever say it back.

On that Thursday night in late June it came to no surprise that Nicolas asked him to meet him in the Room of Requirement.

Regulus didn't think much of it at first, but then he wondered why Nicolas asked him to meet him specifically in the Room of Requirement, and he couldn't help but to wonder why they were meeting so early in the evening compared to when they usually would meet up late and engage in...stuff.

However, Nicolas was almost finished with school, and they only had a few days left together, so Regulus was eager to see him as much as possible before they would be separated.

If only that bad feeling in the pit of his stomach would go away.

"So...hey," Regulus said quietly as the magical door disappeared and the two found themselves alone in the Room of Requirement.