WikiGirl

Chapter 55

"Agh...I hate love." You rolled your eyes as you took your place on the bed next to Jimin and covered your legs with your blanket.

"I didn't even press play, girl. What even." He laughed a bit at how not in for this you were but he had not left you many choices but to sit down and watch this movie with him.

He may have been joking about the cuddling part but he definitely was not joking about the genre of the movie which once you saw that it was indeed romance, you hated it. Yet despite your protest of watching another one you had ended up settling on the fact that you most likely will be doing nothing else all day and you could choose the next one, as he stated over munching on his popcorn, despite the early hour of the day.

"I don't dislike the particular movie. I have not even seen it. I dislike the concept. Love is a lie anyway." You explained further your statement while you stretched out your hand and took some of his popcorn.

"Your positivity is too overwhelming. It's blinding my eyes." His sarcastic comment had you roll your eyes at him, just to make him laugh loudly, only for the laughter of his to be cut short for he felt a sharp pain on his ribs as soon as he started it.

"You are seriously one step before the grave so maybe you should focus on that instead of my viewpoint on love." You raised an eyebrow at him as you gave him a cheeky response then went to take some more popcorn but Jimin took hold of your hand, stopping you.

"Since I am one step before the grave according to you, I deserve to eat my popcorn all alone for they may be my last."  He shoved your hand away and you cracked up a smile for you couldn't help but find the pettiness he was displaying quite humorous.

"Since that's your last wish, I will respect it." 

"Nah my last wish would be to fall in love truly." Jimin's casual reply had the chill and joyful atmosphere fall into a break of silence that left a sad vibe take over you and your thoughts.

"What's there so good in love that you would wish to go through it again? Have you never been broken?" You questioned him for you definitely couldn't understand his eagerness for love at that very moment and Jimin looked your way with a smile, before he pointed towards the ceiling, making you look up towards it with a perplexed facial expression.

"Close your eyes and I will describe to you why love is something worth living."He lowered his tone to a whisper as he proceeded to place his palm and cover your eyes, bring your vision of the white ceiling onto darkness. The warmth of his hand had you hold your breath momentarily and your hands tingled slightly on your lap, feeling a bit alert and vulnerable now that your vision was taken from you.

"Imagine, someone who can make you feel safe, in the most unsafe storms that life could throw you. Imagine, someone who you can depend on fully and surrender yourself with all you have. Your burdens, your flaws, your ambitions and weaknesses and still feel safe. Someone you can trust in the dark and rest assured that he won't run to the light without you. Imagine you have someone like that. How does it feel?" His words got your mind thinking until he made that question and everything inside your head came to a halt for you couldn't imagine any feeling close to something like that.

"Only God could love you in such way. Humans can't love like that." You replied then proceeded to reach your hand to his and free your vision, but he still did not pull away nor left you to pull his hand down.

"Indeed, no one is responsible nor capable to bear the burdens of another entity for we barely can bear our own. Yet we love in our own ways. We love how we individually know how to love and perceive love. And that is why you can't speak of love and define it in one certain way just because you have experienced the love of one human and it turned out hurtful." He added, making you leave a small gasp escape from your lips for you weren't expecting for him to turn this into an indirect lesson towards your statement about love.

He let go of your eyes on his own after that and you opened your eyes and looked his way, finding him already looking at you in a soft and caring way that had your heart thump suddenly against your chest. "I have tasted bitterness out of love too but it would be ignorant to categorize everything and everyone as unworthy just because I was foolish and gave my love to people that weren't meant for it. However, even if I were to see everything as meaningless would that really change whatever is written for me? You disliking love, can't really stop you from falling again, now can it?"

"Yes, yes it can. For I will never make that mistake again. I will never take the risk to trust something like love again." You replied confidently and strangely Jimin just gave you a sweet smile and a gaze that made you think that he was empathizing with you at that very moment.

"You would laugh if you were to hear how many times I have said that to myself yet here I am. Searching for love in every chance I get, like a desperate flower for sunlight. You may pretend that you like the shade Y/N but deep inside you crave for the sun too. You can deny it as much as you would like but we like it or not, humans are designed this way. We are in need of emotional fulfilment and love as much as we are in need of water and sleep."

You tore your eyes away from him aggressively because his words even though perfectly logical, had managed to make you mad for you were incapable of accepting them no matter what. Yet all he did was smile at your reaction and gently from his hand on a fist, bringing it on your shoulder where he knocked on it as if he was knocking on a door, making you throw your irritated gaze towards him again.

"Knock knock." He said and you literally took a deep breath, in order to hold yourself back from speaking anything rude or mean to him.

"Who's there?" You uttered half-heartedly for you were definitely not in the mood for any silly jokes which you assumed that he was trying to pull.

"It's Love. Won't you open up for me?"His playful smile grew wider as you locked eyes with him after hearing his words and somehow, despite how corny that was and how irritated you were a second again, you found that so ridiculous that you ended up cracking up.

"Ah seriously. Why are you like this? You are making my moods so unstable." You blamed him and he held his chin up before proceeded to pretend to be receiving some kind of noble price for inventing a method to change someone's mood without medication. An act that had you back in your joyful state and almost forgetting everything about the bitter conversation and almost argument over the subject of love.

Yet as you two finally settled and he pressed play on the movie to start, you couldn't help but bring his words to mind while watching. He sure did not seem like someone who could believe in love that strongly yet the more you played his words on your head the more you felt bad for him, for the more he cared the more he had been hurt, and Mrs Yoon was one case of fake love which you actually happened to witness. 

It sure seemed absurd that after that he still found the strength to claim that love existed somewhere out there for him. Was he just being hopeful or was he being stupid? If someone was to ask you, you would definitely say that it was the second, for you had taken your lesson once and for all when it comes to love.

You had been betrayed and gotten hurt enough to know better than hope or wish for something like love to come your way, yet strangely you couldn't deny the fact that Jimin having such belief about love, made you feel safer around him.

It made you almost admit that if it was with him, maybe love would turn out a different way.

---To be continued...