WikiGirl

Chapter 74

The rays of the day had found Jimin observing the ceiling, engulfed in the silence that had kept him company from the moment, Jin had given him his painkillers and had left, while you had decided to get some much-needed sleep on your couch.

Initially, he was supposed to get some rest too but events of the previous day had started loading his mind, making him unable to shut his mind. The feeling of fear inside him was still wide awake, the sense that someone was lurking in his mind ready to attack him was making him restless, his breathing sounding heavier in the room, from time to time, until he would grow aware of it and purposely try to calm himself.

Knowing that P1 had made his return sure was not something he could shake easily from his thoughts, despite the fact that from the moment he had returned, he had had plenty of things to distract him. A mess he sure was thankful to you for including him, even if it wasn't the best for him physically.

When he had first met you, he sure had not imagined you to become so useful and helpful to him even though he wasn't sure if it always was intentional. You were interesting and despite how his life is never really dull, with you around it had started being more than just eventful on the surface, it had started becoming lively and exciting emotionally too. You were more of a troublemaker than you were a trouble solver but he definitely found that entertaining.

You had even requested to be friends with him and to be honest, desp[ite having many people that would like that position in his life, he had rarely found any that truly meant it in a none self profiting way. Yet here you were, not asking for anything, nor thanking him when he was to come and help you out of situations. You sure were peculiar and to a point, you were a pretty sad person in his eyes.

He could see clearly that you were broken, especially after he had witnessed and heard prior between you and your father. You had tasted pain and that someone made him feel closer to you because you had something in common. Surely your situations could not be compared and he was aware of that, but no matter what the root of breaking someone was, he believed in bonding through pain. Recognising the feeling inside someone's eyes, and instead of comparing it, embracing it and understanding it for what it was. For no pain can ever be truly greater than any other. We all perceive differently. One can be cut by a knife and one by a thin piece of paper, but the wound can hurt equally because we don't tolerate pain the same way. We are not all made of steel, we vary. Some are made of glass or plastic. Some break by a push from the height of a table, and some need to go through high degrees of fire to get damaged. Nonetheless, we all are and it's not our fault what we are made of, fragile or not. The one that pushes you with the intent to break you, is the one at wrong and that fall, does not define how strong we are. 

No matter in how many pieces you shutter, no matter how long you stay there broken, no matter how ugly you seem to be putting yourself together and how even after you gather everything, you never feel like the old you, pain for him was not a misfortune. It was an opportunity to recreate yourself. Even though we can't change the material we are made of, we can change our shapes, forms, and colours. We can be ugly or beautiful broken creations but each time he had broke, he had peaked his pieces and placed them thinking of neither of those words. All he wanted to do, was put them somewhere that he can see, he can never forget. Somewhere that the change of that pain, would reflect outwardly and everyone sees, that he won't be able to be broken the same way twice.

In the beginning, you are caught off guard and the first time someone breaks you is usually the hardest, every piece they shutter off you after that, will never hit the same as before. Some will grow numb to it, others grow used to and others start making excuses, taking the blame from one to another. All are logical reactions of a damaged soul, that remains damaged no matter through time, swimming in a sadness deeper than they are able to feel and recognise within them.