WikiGirl

Chapter 59

Just because you can ignore something, it doesn't mean that it stops existing. And just because he was able to ignore his pain so far, it didn't mean that it would go away.

At that very moment that he had entered the bathtub full of ice and his pained body withered in ache, Jimin felt that saying embodied on his bones.

Thoughts of regret and curses passed through his mind as his face morphed in anguish while he placed his own hands over his mouth, in an attempt to muffle the screams he was failing to hold back.

You were in the living room as you had prepared him the bath and left him in his private moment however if he was to scream at the amount of pain he was feeling, his voice would most likely reach you and scare you and he didn't want to cause any unnecessary commotions.

There was nothing you could do anyways. There's nothing anyone could do but time and he sure was suffering through the passage of it.

After some minutes of fighting to control himself, Jimin let his arms fall to his sides and sink onto the cold water to get numb along with the rest of his body that had started feeling dead.

It almost made him feel thankful that he wasn't feeling his own body more and more as minutes passed by, giving him a sense of relief that let him lean his head back and let out of his lips to escape a trembling breath.

The pain on his ribs was fading along with his senses yet he left a smile get plastered on his lips while his thoughts travelled him to cold winters, icebergs and hazards. Snowstorms that he could get buried under and leave his last breath.

The relief of death, the taste of that end, he imagined it similar to the moment he was living. Maybe his body would feel something like this, stone-cold and with the sense of life fading from within him. And maybe his mind would have been in a similar haze as it was right now.

The crisping ice seemed to have entered his scalp as he stood there observing the ceiling, reminding himself almost robotically that he shouldn't stay long in these freezing waters. A reminder that the more he repeated it to himself, the more it started fading away in his brain.

And instead, snowflakes started appearing in his memories. Crystal white snowflakes fell on his forehead and sink on his skin to travel to the essence of his brain.

His eyes had fallen close at the imagination, his lips slightly parted as if he was a lifeless body floating in the cold waters of the sea.

Moments flashed before his eyes of events recent and not. Everything he went through today, the reckless things he did and how he tormented his body. The pain he kept pretending that it didn't exist but tortured him regardless. This was the moment he couldn't run away from it, for now, it wasn't only physical. The feeling of it had been engraved in his mind and thus even when he gets better, he will always be able to relieve this pain by barely closing his eyes.

Jimin hated that fact. How pain was such an ingenious thing be it physical or not. It creeps inside you in ways you can never imagine. It gets on depths you never even knew you had. It touches places of your heart you had failed to realize that were fragile.

Was he just bad at detecting it or was pain something that couldn't be stopped from being felt? He wasn't sure but at that very moment, that his mind was bringing to him unnecessary tastes of pain and heartache that past events had caused him, he felt like he would have yanked and torn that pain apart if it could ever be a concrete thing which he could get his hands on.

The poison of frustration felt like a snake that swirled on his chest yet the feeling was too faint in comparison to the paralyzing cold that had gotten him chained in a way he had yet to notice fully.