It's been three days since the miscarriage and things have only gotten harder.
I haven't been able to eat or sleep and I knew it was worrying Colby but I couldn't do anything about it.
All I could do was stare at a wall and occasionally cry.
I felt bad because I haven't been able to hang out with the twins that much. Every time I would try to hang out with them I felt like I was drowning in sadness.
Colby was so supportive though and was being so strong for not only me, but for our whole family.
"Violet, baby. I made you some food..will you eat it?" Colby asked as he walked into the room. I shook my head and looked at the wall. "Please, baby." He whispered and crouched in front of me.
"I can't." I whispered as he brushed my hair from my face. "I know you're hurting. That's why we're going to therapy today." He said as I shook my head. "I don't need it." I mumbled as he sighed.
"Well I do, and we do things together." He said then held up the sandwich he made me. "Please just try to eat for me. I'm worried about you." Colby said as I sighed.
"I'm sorry." I said quietly. "Let's just try to eat before our appointment." He said then sat next to me.
I nodded then sat up, rubbing my eyes. "I don't want to feel sick." I said quietly but took the plate of food.
"Here, I'll eat half and you eat the other half." Colby said then grabbed the sandwich and ripped it in half.
I nodded then took half of the sandwich and took a bite. "Are the girls okay?" I asked quietly.
"They're doing okay. Sam is watching them for us so we can go to our appointment. "I feel so bad." I mumbled as he sighed.
"I know, love. Just try to remember that our friends are here for us." He said as I nodded.
I hated that we had to be so dependent on our friends sometimes but I knew that they didn't care. I knew that they would do anything to help us in our time of need but I hated feeling so weak.
Colby and I ate our little lunch then went to get ready. I hadn't gotten out of bed in a couple of days so I needed to shower.
When I walked into the bathroom I looked in the mirror, seeing the pain plastered on my face.
I hated how empty and upset I looked. I let my eyes trail down to my stomach. The swelling from the pregnancy was now mostly gone, leaving my heart broken.
I sniffled then turned to go back into the bedroom. "V?" Colby asked as I shook my head. "I can't do this." I whispered then walked away.
"Hey...hey." Colby said then grabbed my shoulder, causing me to turn to him.
"We're going to get through this together." He said then kissed my forehead. "I can't. I just want to lay in bed." I whimpered as he nodded.
"I know, love. This appointment is going to help you though. It's going to be a positive place for both of us." He said and brushed my hair back.
"Please, just try for me." Colby said quietly as I nodded. "Okay." I whispered then turned towards the shower.
I quickly showered then got dressed in another pair of clean sweats. I had to admit that showering made me feel a little bit better.
I still felt empty inside and my heart was tattered but I definitely felt refreshed.
"I'm proud of you, V." Colby said as we made our way downstairs. "I haven't done anything." I said quietly as I bundled my sleeves in my hands.
