The Girl With A Broken Mind

Schizoaffective Borderline Personality/Complex PTSD and an Abusive Family.

I have come to realize that this cycle of abuse didnt just come out of nowhere. The way my family treats me is exactly the way they treated my older sister when she was growing up. I'm devastated noe knowing how exactly she felt when everyone, including me isolated her from the family. She's strong for getting through it. It makes me realize that if she can make it out alive, so can I. My family can be so cruel. I came home today with my boyfriend to meet my mom and sister because he's going to Montana for two months. I told her "I've been wanting you to meet him". My brother jumps up from the chair and in a snarky tone says "Not Interested". I wasn't even talking to him. I could give a shit less what he of all people thinks of who I've chosen to be my significant other. As we were walking to my room he noticed this Boston terrier blanket we had on the wall and said it was really cool. So I said he'd love my mom's workspace. I'm trying to find the light so I can show him all her Boston stuff and my brother loudly and irritatedly says "oh my god". So I just went back to my room and said never mind. We hung out for about 10 minutes and my step dad comes home. Everyone is in the livingroom. My brother anxiously waiting for my step dad to lay into me. My step dad starts to ask if mom ever talked to me last week and I asked if we can do this later because my boyfriend was still next to me as we were about to leave. He starts going off saying I have no respect for anybody. I just left. He has had a chance to talk to me before while he wasn't there. He just chose that moment because that's what my family does. They thrive off of humiliating the weakest in the pack. That just so happens to be me. They love to break you and criticize you for being broken. How can you get better in an environment like this?