Every time I get high, I get pulled out of a delusion. Now I feel like I can finally explain what I mean. Whenever I'm in an environment or around people that are involved in the fucked up part of my life and I smoke, I'm suddenly clearheaded. The delusion goes away and I sit here and look at the big picture and I can see it. Through my schizophrenia. Without my thought process. The thought process of a rational, normal girl. It terrifies me. I'm suddenly a girl who's in this (usually a man's house) wearing skimpy cloths, and SMOKING! Its usually followed by me silently in my head freaking out because this is how people get raped!! Who would put themselves in this situation?! But yet I always have this "awakening". It's something I've tried to explain to my therapist but I could not for the life of me put it into words.
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The Girl With A Broken Mind
Random*Adult Content* I'm turning my blog/diary into a book. They are basically diary postings without the dates. They are random postings about whatever I'm feeling that day. Very raw, very detailed about my life. My blog and now this book is to help peo...
