The Girl With A Broken Mind

I'm Not Over You

I'm not over you. I know it's been a year and I told you I had closure, but I don't. I fused myself with you for 6 1/2 years. We were one and now my other half doesn't even speak to me. Do you know what you're missing? I was your favorite person in the whole world! Don't you care about me anymore? You'd be so proud of me. But you blocked me out of your life while you still speak to my family. CAN'T YOU SEE HOW MUCH THAT HURTS? How can you be at peace with losing me, while I'm still picking up the pieces of myself after what that relationship did to me? I'm not a person anymore. While you are in love with a new girl loving your life with OUR dog who was my WHOLE LIFE. My fucking child. I spent everyday with her for 3 years. She was my reason to keep breathing. She was my service dog too, I had her to lean on when you let me down. I lost everything in this breakup while you kept everything including your sanity. My onset happened during the last year of our relationship and you weren't there for me. I cried for your help and you screamed at me. The only time you weren't using me as your emotional punching bag is when we smoked before bedtime. I was alone because you knew my family didn't visit. My only friend lived in Colorado. The only people I got to socialize with the older couple next door and you. For almost a year I lived in solitude and you were my solace. Yet 75 percent of the time you were angry and mean. Everyone got to see the nice version of you when I knew the cruel and spiteful you. No one knows the abuse. Not physical but emotional. It molded my mind and you don't care. I'm scared to reach out now, speak my mind or even try to comfort people for fear of being punished. I cower like a scared dog. I'm so broken. I wish you could just come back and comfort me. I FUCKING NEED YOU!!!