I think im delusional. It's a dream. I swear nothing is real. I keep having moments when I come to full clarity and I see things for what they truly are. It's like I've developed consciousness and I can see outside of the haziness that is my "reality". In those moments I've come out of this state that I'm in 24/7, I don't know what's real anymore. I realize almost alot about my adult life has been dramatized to the extreme. Alot of it was made up in my head. I wonder why people get fed up and just leave. I blame them when in reality it's me. By not being in reality. I try to explain to people close to me, well, I try to explain to my boyfriend what's going on. Though I can't expect him to understand. I can't expect anyone to understand. On the outside I seem fully functional. I speak clearly, I can dress myself, I can do lots of things. I'm rarely "here" though.. I've mentioned before in other blogs that it feels like something has taken over my body, my thoughts, everything. I can't think rationally or with logic. Its like I'm hijacked. Then there are moments that become aware of some sort. I can suddenly think straight. It usually is months in between. But it's happened 3 times in the past month. I feel high, like I'm in another dimension. Like this life I've woken up to is false. But it's the truth. My world is the false one. Then it just suddenly "is" again. I forget all those thoughts I had. It never happened. I'm back in my "reality".
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The Girl With A Broken Mind
Random*Adult Content* I'm turning my blog/diary into a book. They are basically diary postings without the dates. They are random postings about whatever I'm feeling that day. Very raw, very detailed about my life. My blog and now this book is to help peo...
