I never thought I'd get this far. I'm almost 24, and I'm only just now starting life. Only I'm stunted. I never bothered to learn certain things or set long-term goals for myself because I never thought I would make it. I'm so far behind. My biggest life accomplishment is graduating highschool. That was 6 years ago. I'm aware of all that I'm lacking, I'm just incompetent it seems. I don't know so many basic things, I started to teach myself how to cook while I lived with my ex but now that I live in a household that doesn't really do "home cooked" meals, I don't get to practice anymore. You say oh buy your own food, simple. I don't work. I want to, but I'm so slow. I'm a hands on learner and so many employers that I've been employed by don't teach you like that anymore. You're expected to be a fast learner and quick thinking. What about us who just need a little bit more help? It's embarrassing. Just having a conversation with another human being sends my mind into a panic about what I'm saying, "why did I say that", "would saying this have been better?", "oh god, I annoyed them". Which then mid conversation I shut down and want to cry. Then there's the fact that I can't keep up. I'm always a sentence behind. It's like they are speaking a whole different language. Now I feel so stupid and apologize over and over because I'm just not understanding what they are telling me. I see their facial expressions and their body language shift. Which sends me further into this panic.
YOU ARE READING
The Girl With A Broken Mind
Random*Adult Content* I'm turning my blog/diary into a book. They are basically diary postings without the dates. They are random postings about whatever I'm feeling that day. Very raw, very detailed about my life. My blog and now this book is to help peo...