I want my life back. I want to live carelessly but responsibly of course. Life without the worries, the paranoia, the hallucinations and delusions, the mania and depression. I'm considering ECT. This is a really big decision. A scary one at that. I can lose short and long term memory. The more I think about that the more I wish I would lose long term memories. I'm a memory hoarder. Especially with the bad ones. Losing those is a terrifying thought, but yet maybe I can be happy without them. I wish I could lose memory of my ex. Forget all the things that have traumatized me and ruined me for future relationships. If I forgot about him, will I be a different person? I've been borderline way before I met him, but he proved every fear a borderline could possibly think of to be true. My relationship with him though I treasure, destroyed every bit of me that I was. Without those memories I wouldn't be traumatized from relationships. This is just wishful thinking. This wouldn't happen. If only right?
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The Girl With A Broken Mind
Random*Adult Content* I'm turning my blog/diary into a book. They are basically diary postings without the dates. They are random postings about whatever I'm feeling that day. Very raw, very detailed about my life. My blog and now this book is to help peo...
