When worlds collide - Loki X reader

Ragnarok - chapter 12 ४

The library was the peace and quiet you had been searching for in a long time. Although you felt lonely here it was a lot better than Loki's company, it's been a couple hours since your encounter in the study room, yet your scalp was was still incredibly sore, and you could still feel his ice cold grip on your wrists, there was definitely gonna be a bruise later. Your warm hands was lightly running over the area that had been held tightly, it was red and sore. You hated him. No. That was probably the worst part of it all, you didn't hate him. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't hate him, because you knew Mobius was right.

You were exhausted, your eyelids were heavy. To be fair you hadn't gotten a good nights sleep ever since you're arrival, although Mobius had made sure you got the best room, and that your every need was fulfilled, the only thing you longed for was a movie night on the couch with Nat, or a car ride to the beach with Tony. Every time you closed your eyes you had nightmares. Not the once you have as a kid where a monster is chasing you in the dark. You saw Peter disappearing into dust right in the palm of your hand, your haunting scream as he dissolved completely. You saw your time with hydra chained down to a bed while mad scientist would inject you with whatever they hadn't yet tried. Steve beaten and bloody laying on your chest as you wiped away the blood of his wounds. These were your nightmares, they were real. There was no escaping them. However you let your heavy eyelids shut, as you fell asleep on the pile of paperwork left undone. It could wait, everything could wait..

"Y/n"

Your eyes slowly opened up, as the tall frame before you let a gentle hand touch the back of your head. When you realised who it was you sprung up from you chair.

"Get away from me" desperation filled your voice, you were mortified. Truly and utterly mortified.

"I came to apologise. To you" his voice was calm and gentle in way you had never sensed before, you were shocked at his words, but you weren't gonna let him get away with it this easy, he hurt you, not only mentally, but he physically hurt you.

"Well, I'm waiting then" you spat, you clenched your jaw as you moved further away from him, afraid what his next move might be.

"I'm..." he took a deep breath, it made him uncomfortable. "I am sorry that i ehm.." he fumbled over his words.

"You're sorry you hurt me?" You asked in a cold monotone voice, looking directly at him.

"Yes, Im sorry that I hurt you, I didn't mean to." He paused for second before looking up at you, his eyes met yours and his face turned sorrowful. "Actually I did mean to hurt you, I wanted you to hurt" he spoke.

"You're shitty at apologising you know, saying you meant to cause harm on someone isn't saying your sorry, it just hurting them over again" you exclaimed, he was infuriating you.

why did he impact you so fucking much.

"Will you let me finish for allfathers sake Stark" he spat, his gentle voice were gone once again, and the Loki you knew stood in front of you crystal clear. You scoffed at his words, but gestured for him to continue as you took a seat. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, he was really struggling at this, and you found it quite amusing. He sat down across from you at the table.

" I am sorry that i hurt you, but I did mean to hurt you." He started. You were biting the inside of you cheeks as you shook your head. He was making you nervous. "I did it because I'm scared"

"You're scared?" You asked, he looked intensely at you begging you to just shut up and listen to him. "go on" you mouthed.

"I'm scared because I don't want to care about you...because I know that you don't care about me."
He was looking down, suddenly you weren't so scared at all, mobius was right, of course he was right. Silence filled the air between you as he slightly looked up at you, hoping he would have gotten a reaction from you by now.