When worlds collide - Loki X reader

The meaning of a name - chapter 45 ४

Bucky looks at you while you're sleeping, you look peaceful. You had now been out for 34 hours. The serum that was meant to cancel out the super soldier serum wasn't working. Your body was rejecting it. Or the stones were rejecting it. Your body spent so much time fighting your mind, that you couldn't stay awake.

"She's gonna be fine James, go get some sleep." Shuri calmly says putting a hand on his back.

"I know I'm just worried.. are you sure you can do this"

"If anyone can do it, it's me. Now go" she demands.

Bucky gently takes your hand squeezing it gently, before leaving out the door. Sam is waiting for him just outside. He has a weird look on his face.

"What?" Bucky asks.

"You're worried" he answers with a smile on his face.

"Of course I'm fucking worried" Bucky stops himself. Closing his eyes. "I'm sorry.. I'm not myself at the moment" he admits. "I never apologized to Tony for what I did... and I never apologized to her"

Sam shakes his head. "You know it's not me you should be telling this to" he sighs. "She cares about you, don't push her away man" sam sighs.

"They deserve better... she just makes me so infuriated, I don't know why"

"Because y/n reminds you of Steve, you care about her and that scares you" Sam explains. Bucky keeps looking down at the ground. "I know you say you're helping her because of Steve. But really you're helping her because you're hoping it'll make up for what you did."

Bucky's face softens as he speaks, he's grinding his teeth.

"You like her" Sam guesses.

"What?"

"You like her" he repeats.

"No" Bucky says quickly after.

"Are you gonna tell her?" He smirks.

"No" Bucky says again, even quiver than before.

"Fine.. but then at least promise me you'll stop lashing out at her"

"I just want her to be safe alright?"

Sam chuckles subtly. "Sure"

Bucky rolls his eyes, as he rests his head in the palm of his hand. Slowly exhaling deeply.

"I'm serious okay?"

"Okay" Sam smiles. "Now get some sleep you look like shit.

Bucky chuckles as he reaches out for a hug. "You so like her" Sam gently whispers in his ear. Bucky pulls away pushing him playfully.

"Goodnight" he says as he walks off.

—

"Good-morning sleepyhead" Sam chuckles.

You slowly sit up, had you really been asleep for almost 1.5 a day.

"Hey Sam" you say tiredly. Your body is incredibly sore.  Shuri rushes to your side laying you back down.

"You need to relax y/n" you flinch as she says your name, but nothing happens.

"Oh my god. Say it again" you plead.

"You need to relax?" She says questioningly.

"No-no. Say my name" you cry out.

"Y/n?"

You begin laughing hysterically in relief. Your name has been a trigger for you, sending you right back down that rabbit hole you once were in.

"What is going on?" Sam asks.

"I just got my name back" you chuckle.

"You got your name back?"

You sit up hugging him, he comforts you as your laughs get quieter. "When ehm-" you trail off.

"You don't have to explain" he assures you.

"When I was in there, they did everything they could to keep my emotions away. I was so scared. All I had left at one point was Loki.. and my own name. So they took both things from me" you explain. Just talking about it gives you nightmares. Flashing images of being tied up in a small room. Your mind has blocked out the most traumatic parts. But it was in there. All of it was in there. "I didn't think I was ever gonna come home. But you saved me Sam." You smile. He hugs you tighter. "You saved me, I could never repay you for that"

"Hey y/n" he chuckles, you look up at him. "You brought me back, you brought us all back." He says warmly. "You need to allow yourself to heal, you deserve it"

"No I don't, I hurt so many people"

"No you didn't.. Hydra did"

"Don-"

"Yes, y/n you are the strongest woman I've ever known. Everything is gonna be okay"

"How do you know that"

"Because you're not alone anymore"

He gently places a kiss on the top of your head. You bite down on your lower lip, exhaling sharply in relief. God you needed to hear those words more than you thought. And to hear them from Sam, the most caring, selfless man. That was the greatest compliment you could ever get.

"Thank you Sam" you smile.

Shuri walks in once again.

"Alright I just need to give you one last dose before your procedure tomorrow." She walks towards you with a giant needle in her hand.

You lay down on the bed once more, she locks your hand and feet onto the madress, mostly for your own safety. You would have thought being injected with all kinds of things would be second nature to you. But your fear of needles had only grown with your time with hydra. You clench your entire body. Sam walks over and grabs onto your hand giving you a reassuring smile. Then she injects the serum directly into the side of your neck. Luckily for you, the pain is bearable. And within seconds you're done.

"Alright we're all done with this part. Only two steps more to go." She says kindly.

"What's next for her?" Sam asks.

"A good nights sleep, please make sure she's not distracted, or impacted by anything."

"What happens tomorrow" you ask hesitantly, sitting up carefully.

"I'm going to find a way to reset your mindset, without tampering with any core memories of course." She explains, you look at Sam worriedly.

"Why can't you just do what you did to Bucky" Sam asks.

"James didn't have 6 infinity stones running through his veins." She explains. You look down at the ground. "The stones have created a barrier around her entire nervous system, whatever Hydra did with the serum, that's what I'm trying to duplicate."

"What i-" you breathe looking up at her. "What if it doesn't work?" You question sadly.

"It's gonna work. Now please stop worrying. You need to have a clear mind. Go get some sleep" she demands.

"I'll get her back to her room" Sam says, wrapping his arm around your lower back. The serum is starting to kick in. Your vision is getting blurry, and all your senses are heightened. As you reach your room Sam gives you a gentle hug.

"Are you sure you don't want me to follow you in?"

"I'm gonna be okay, I'm just gonna head to bed straight away."

Sam smiles and begins walking off.

"Sam!" You yell out, he turns around. "Thank you.. for everything" you smile.

"Don't worry about it, now sleep." He chuckles.

You close the door behind you and let your body crumble down onto the floor, sliding against the back of the door. There's a weird scent in your room, at first you can't really figure it out. Then the stink of beer hits you. You knew you hadn't been drinking. You struggle to open up your eyes. Squinting your eyes to make a sense of the figure sitting on your bed.

"Bucky?"