When worlds collide - Loki X reader

In sickness and in health - chapter 73

10 months in Lom Norway

You're quietly sitting in a small wheelchair, rocking back and forth, looking out over the snow covered garden. You can't walk on your own anymore, Sól had moved in helping you with everything. You looked like a ghost of the woman you once were. Hollowed out cheeks, every vein and bone in your body visible. Pale as the snow falling outside the window. Your babies on the other hand was healthy and strong, that made it all worth it to you. Loki on the other hand, he was so angry with you. Watching the life slowly fade from your eyes as each day went by. You were dying, so your babies could live.

Sól slowly walks into the living room, she sits down beside you, looking over at you with sadness in her eyes. "You need to eat something" she states.

"I'm not hungry" you say quietly, even your voice sounds different. It's weak and tired.

"Your babies are" she smiles weakly, as she hands you some food.

You take a deep breath as you struggle to eat, your hand shaking as you grab the fork.

"Will you help me in the shower?" You ask softly, as you finish your last bite. It took you almost an hour to eat a small plate of lunch. Every movement was a constant battle.

Sól nods her head, as she rolls you into the bathroom, slowly undressing you. As you look into the mirror, a tear rolls from your eye. You're nothing but skin and bones lately. No wonder Loki can't stand to look at you, hold you. He could crush you with a hug. She slowly helps you up, sitting you down in the shower. She turns on the water waiting outside the bath for you to finish up. You sit in there for what feel like forever, feeling as the water rushes down on you. Then you break down crying. As you hold as tightly as you can around your stomach. Knowing you'll probably never see them grow up. Knowing that Loki will spend eternity hating you for the choice you've made. Sól helps you out of the shower, you find your balance standing on your own for the first time in days.

"Can I have a moment alone?" You ask.

She nods her head understandingly, before walking out the door. You just look at yourself in the mirror, you can't even recognize yourself anymore. You look like something from a horror movie. Suddenly you spot Loki in the reflection. He looks you up and down, shaking his head slowly.

"Loki?" You whimper.

He turns around closing the bathroom door. You find your robe, gently putting it on, as you sit down in the chair once more.

Loki stands in the kitchen making dinner, you slowly walks towards him, resting your hand on a surface at all times, you wrap your arms around him as you kiss him gently on the neck. "Not right now y/n" Loki murmurs.

"When will you just look at me.. I'm your wife" you say quietly.

"You're killing yourself that's what you are" Loki hisses. He regrets it as soon as he does, turning around to face you. "My apologies"

"What happened to in sickness and in health?" You ask, he's been so absent these past weeks. You feel a sharp kick to your stomach, as you fall into his arms. He holds you tightly against his chest.

"Im scared" he admits. "Im absolutely terrified to loose you"

"Im scared too" you whisper. "I don't know how much more I can do this"