Codependent

Chapter 78

Two days later, Thursday, October 28th.

I was in the kitchen at 5 am unable to sleep, I just accepted the fact that it was an impossible case to fix. I grabbed some of the leftovers from what they ate for dinner.

I sat at the table enjoying the silence until I heard someone walk in and I looked up to see Andrew walking in as well wearing his pyjama. He looked at me and chuckled nodding his head no.

"Can't sleep?" he asked and I smiled taking a bite of the food feeling I was actually hungry again for the first time.

"Nah, what about you?" I asked and he grabbed a glass of milk and sat across from me while I ate, he smiled at me but I ignored it.

"Glad to see you're eating," he said softly taking a sip. "Yea, anyway why are you up?" I asked again and he smiled softly.

"Sometimes my worries get the best of me," he said softly, and I could feel it, his worry.

"What are you worrying about?" I asked him softly. "It's not right to tell you my problems as well," he said chuckling and I frowned looking at him.

"It's not like this is an official session, so if you talk I'll eat," I said looking at him and he scoffed. "That's blackmailing," he said dryly raising his brow and I smiled. 

"I was joking, but I can feel your worry so you're responsible to make me feel better from your worry," I said blackmailing him again and he chuckled.

"I'm still not going to tell you," he said and I smiled taking another bite of my food just because I was hungry. "What kept you up?" he asked and I smiled, I just knew he was going to try and make me feel better. 

In the last few days, I got more comfortable around him and it did feel more like a friendship, but that's probably because I also saw him a lot out of session times.

"Just... memories flooding my brain," I said softly drinking some water and he looked thoughtfully. "What was it about?" he asked again seriously and I chuckled.

"You don't want to know," I said jokingly. "If I didn't, I wouldn't ask," he said and I smiled softly.

"Just me on missions, or in my cell, the last one was about something totally random," I said dryly and he looked at me waiting for me to speak while taking a sip of his milk making me chuckle.

"It was, I thought it was that guy Ward, he visited me together with my father, I have no idea how many times he came to me, I never knew him but yet he's in my head," I said an Andrew looked surprised.

"What'd you thought? Pony's in flower fields?" I asked dryly and he chuckled.

"No, but the fact that you get a memory about him a few days after he came here, it's not a coincidence," he said and I put my hand behind my head thinking about it.

"I wish I could stop it, make me forget things again, maybe I'd be better," I said thinking out loud and he sat back looking at me.

"I don't think you think that," he said and I smiled hating that he was right.

"I wish I thought like that, but no, I have the mind of someone who thinks you're past makes you who you are," I said parodying with an annoying voice making him chuckle.

"But I already knew my past, why does it need to keep coming? I don't..." I said stopping myself hesitating. "Don't what?" he asked carefully and I nodded no.

"We all have something we wish for that never happened, something we said we could take back. It doesn't make you weaker or softer despising your past, just because you have the thoughts that you're supposed to feel a way, and it's frustrating when it's not how you feel, right?" he asked and I looked at him with sad eyes.