Codependent

Chapter 101

Everything has been going the way it was always supposed to be. Everyone together, happy, no secrets, no deal-breaking drama. Just us.

The first few weeks were like one big holiday, we got a few missions but not a lot and nothing that bad, so we spent most of the time on the base. Loki was allowed to stay with us and Thor almost never came to check on him so Loki was happier than ever.

We did a lot of karaoke, Nat, Wanda and I were like the spice girls and the boys were just being boys dancing to Beyoncé... It was funny. I got my phone back too so I had lots of videos and silly pictures.

Loki and I went on plenty of dates but we never seemed to run out of conversations. There were more tears and fears but even more laughs and lots and lots of love... I'd never been so confident in my body except for walking around with all my scars showing, I just kept those more to myself... and often Loki.

I fully controlled my powers again and I trained a lot with everyone, I got them into doing yoga with all of us together in the morning but none of them could take it seriously, so we dropped it after three times.

Andrew visited a few times and it was good to speak with him again, I even cried once during our talk even though I promised myself to never do that... I dragged Steve with me two times and he seemed to like it and had some conversations with Andrew privately.

I went back with him to shield for a few days only to see how everyone was doing and to help around. I was glad to see Coulson again and I talked with everyone apologising that I didn't remember them, but Andrew got disappointed in my apologies.

It had been 4 months since I got my memory back again and time flew by, and the concern for Dave's mutant army grew stronger every week. Only Loki and Andrew knew how much I needed to fight the urge to just... take the bus and just kill him already, but they both helped me to stay patient.

I did feel like my last Hydra experience was very tough, but not in the way that I was tortured a lot, but it felt like they completely broke me down mentally again and it made me feel as if I was changed. Loki said I didn't change that much but he did notice that I got... sweeter... I didn't know if that was meant as a joke but I kicked his ass at training later.

I was sitting with Tony and Steve in this random small sitting area outside having a drink and talking about stuff, they both noticed my worry and I told them I was feeling the time pressure of fixing this. They both gave worried glances, either worried for me or worried for this mission.

"I'm not worried about Hydra, we can do that together afterwards, but right now we have to make sure he's out of the way," I explained and both their eyes widened.

"What do you want to do? kill him?" Tony asked in disbelief and I looked back at him with the same look. "Uh, yeah?" both of them were looking at me as if I was insane.

"There has to be another way, you killing your own father can't help," Steve said and I gave him a cold look. "He's already dead to me, he's not my father, and if he gets locked up it won't take him long to get out again," I explained and they both already knew, they just denied it.

"He did a lot of shit things to me, and this has been the last time, I want to make him scared and poke him with a stick until he breaks out of his cage," I said staring into the distance and I felt both of their concerns.

"Right... we'll let you kill him," Tony said dryly and I smiled. "The problem is, that I can't," I explained it, because of the chip that was still in the back of my head I was unable to hurt him. We started talking about the damned thing and possible solutions and we ended up with nothing yet, we knew too little.