Chapter Fifty Eight

25.6K 804 188
                                    

"I've waited a hundred years but I'd wait a million more for you. Nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do..."

Song: Turning Page

Artist: Sleeping At Last

Selena

This morning was a bit odd. Tension was easily noticeable and it was slightly awkward. I had a bit of a headache but Harry had arrived in the room with pancakes and bacon for me. For one I was surprised but I also felt bad. I felt like he went out of his way to prove something to me and there was no need for that. I can't exactly remember every detail from last night but I know I was a bitch when we got here. I remember trying to go against his words just to piss him off. Right now we were on our way to I don't know where. He just told me to get ready and I did so.

"Where are we going?" I ask him.

"Just out. Walk around or something.. I just want to talk." He answers and I nod.

After that the rest of the car ride was awkward silence. And it was bugging the shit out of me. I would understand if we broke up and hadn't seen each other for a while but we literally broke up yesterday and I still somehow ended up staying at his place, so in a way it feels like we were still together. We pull up at a little cafe and he manages to make it to my side and open the door for me before I got the chance to. I thank him and he simply nods. Walking side by side we enter and are placed at a nice little table outside. I told him I wasn't hungry since he made me breakfast so we settled on just coffee.

"So..." I try and break the silence.

"I'm sorry." He says.

"I know." I nod.

"I told you last night I didn't have a good reason for what I did, and I still don't." He mutters.

"Okay.. Thanks for clarifying I totally get it now." I say.

"Don't start with your sarcasm please love." He says and I shrug. "Look, as selfish as this sounds I can't be with you. I want to but I can't."

"That sucks." I sigh. "But if you can't then you can't I get it." I say.

"How are you not pestering me for an explanation." He slightly chuckles.

"Because you don't have one. You just said there's not a good reason so why try and force you into having to think of one and not word it out right? Sometimes people just can't. And I understand that because I have those days. And if you don't feel like you can have a relationship then you shouldn't worry about me. Better that you did it now rather than wait it out and me grow even more attached and fall for you more. Focus on your daughter, and whatever it is Irina is going through, and your family. That's all that truly matters Harry." I answer.

"I don't want to just.. let you go." He says and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Hey, you already did and look where i'm at right now." I shrug.

"I meant in the way of being mine." He sighs.

"Well then i don't know what to tell you because i'm here.. it's you that feels you can't handle this right now. So you can't sit here and tell me you don't want to lose me yet can't be with me either."

"Well, would you go out with other men?" He asks.

"I don't know Harry." I shrug. "But i can't and won't promise you that i won't do that." I add.

"Why? I can't keep up with our relationship at the moment Selena, just give me a few weeks or months to straighten everything out. But i would still be devoted to you and want only you." He says with furrowed eyebrows.

"Harry i like you. A lot, really i do. But i'm not going to sit around and wait. That isn't fair to me." I shake my head.

"How is it not fair if i'm promising to still be only yours? I don't plan on seeing anyone else Sel, i just need a little bit of time to get my shit together." He snap calmly.

"I'm not going to promise you anything. It doesn't mean i'm going to go out with guys just cause, but if someone asks me out i'm not going to just turn them down." I shrug. I know it's a bit immature but i really do not want to wait for someone who doesn't even have a valid reason to want me to wait. I just want some kind of pride to walk away with i guess, and even though i feel like that's wrong of me, i need it.

"Please. I'm begging you, please don't give up on me." He frowns.

I frown at his words and sigh. I reach across the table and grab his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers, "Hey i'm here." I say and he gives me a small smile.

...

"You know i still need you to be my assistant." He says as he starts the car.

"I'm still trying to transfer back to Niall's." I chuckle.

"And that would only be possible for me to agree with the transfer since it was a signed deal." He smirks.

"Seeing each other everyday isn't exactly going to give us space." I say.

"But what better way to start my day by seeing you early in the morning." He says and i blush slightly causing his smirk to turn into a smile.

"Kiss up."

"Why can't you let me try and be cute with you?" He whines and i giggle. "I love when you smile." He says randomly and with that i blush and try to bite back another smile.

"What are you going tonight?" He asks.

"Nothing really. We have work tomorrow so probably just get comfy and cuddle and watch movies with Chris." I answer.

"My cuddles are better than his." He pouts and i can't help but smile. Knowing this isn't probably the best thing to do, i lean over and place a kiss on his cheek, letting it linger for a second before pulling away. He smiles and i smile back when he grabs my hand in his and intertwines our fingers and rests our hands on the center console.

"You're so cute." I coo and he pouts. "You're actually perfect." I add.

"Most definitely not." He shakes his head.

"Well to my you most definitely are." I say and he smiles.

"God i love you." He says quietly. 

My body stiffens and my eyes widen slightly, wondering if i heard him correctly or not. "You w-what?"

"If I had only felt the warmth within your touch, if I had only seen how you smile when you blush, or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough. Well I would have known what I was living for all along, what I've been living for..."

Who else cries because how perfect Harry is?

Styles Enterprises | H.SWhere stories live. Discover now