Drop Dead | Sam Fender

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Six

Liked by tomholland2013, deanedwardthompson and 539,687 others

rorynightingale My new single 'Ruin my Life' is out now!! Can't wait for you all to hear it!🤍

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username1 Omg this is 100% about
Sam😭
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username2 She literally has a boyfriend, why would it be about her ex??
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username3 Didn't Finley admit they broke up in an interview two weeks ago?
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username4 Yeah!! He said they broke up in December
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username5 Coincidentally when Sam released All is on my side🤠

deanedwardthompson Such a belter lass🔥
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rorynightingale 💗 u

username6 Sam Fender has left the chat

harlowbradley My favourite song ever!🤍
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rorynightingale 🥺

username7 This song is so good!!

username8 You can't convince me this song isn't about Sam Fender🤨
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username9 It's not
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username8 Reread my earlier comment, please and thanks x

username10 If this is the song Rory 'randomly' got inspo for after the Daily Mail's article about Sam and Luna then it's 10000% about Sam
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username11 sam_fender you hear that? It's time for u and Rory to make up🤞🏻

username12 Once again, no sign of sam fender🤨

Sam

It had been months since I had properly seen Rory. I hadn't seen her much since All is on my side was released anyway but after the article about me and Luna, it was like she had dropped off the face of the earth.

Dean told me she had gone down to London for a bit to record her new song but I knew I was part of the reason she left. Again. I hadn't intended for any of it to turn out this way. She reacted badly to the song, which I wasn't expecting her to. Yes, the song's meaning was interpretive but it was just me showing my appreciation for the girl, telling her that the world was on my side when she was on my side. Clearly, that backfired.

And then there were my idiotic fucking comments to her in the Low Lights back in January. I had gotten drunk after a particularly stressful meeting with my label, who were pressuring me to release a new album soon or they were going to threaten to drop me. It wasn't something I had told the boys. It was my burden to bear. They couldn't exactly do much about it if I hadn't written any songs. But I had. I just hadn't shared them yet. I was too scared. They were so open, more vulnerable than I had ever been with anyone really. I wasn't sure if I was ready to share that with the world.

But the stress has gotten to me and I had drunk my woes away. In a moment of my lowered inhibitions, I had seen the woman I was painfully still in love with and all I could feel was envy. Envy at Finley who got to love the woman I should be loving, kissing those sweet lips and wiping her tears when she was upset. And in my drunken haze, I couldn't stop the words from spewing from my mouth.

I had probably ruined everything. Just as Rory was coming to grips with the fact I wasn't seventeen-year-old Sam anymore, who got drunk every night after a tough shift or twenty-one-year-old Sam, who came home with a black eye every other weekend.

I had broken her trust again.

This shit with Luna was exactly that. Shit. I run into her after the awards and of course the paparazzi caught us in a heated conversation. The topic of the conversation: Rory. I suppose I could call Luna a friend. We had met a fair few times just out and around the music scene and we had messaged a bit but it was nothing more than friendship. So, when I saw her, of course I was going to talk to her. The paparazzi had caught me mid-rant whilst Luna tried to calm me down. However, the world saw that as an opportunity to link me to another woman. It was fucking stupid. Whoever the fucking source was leaking 'secrets' was deluded. Making up shit for money and it was really starting to piss me off.

I hadn't seen Rory to tell her otherwise. For all she knew, I was secretly dating Luna Taylor because the Daily Mail decided so but we weren't on good enough terms for me to call her and tell her the truth. And as much as I wanted to, even if we were on good terms, she had a boyfriend. She was happy. Why would she care?

I missed my chance. I was too late and there was no going back. She had moved on and I was left for dead laying amongst the rubble. I had no one to blame but myself.

And as I sat listening to Rory's newest single, Ruin My Life, I couldn't help the flicker of hope that it could be about me. The lyrics spoke about missing someone. How could it be about Finley if they were still together?

Any hope that I had was well and truly squashed as I began reading through Twitter. God, I was such a fucking idiot!

Guilt ran rampant as I read a Tweet about Rory and Finley breaking up back in December. Fuck. I had said all of that shit to her out of drunken jealousy and she wasn't even seeing him. Well, now I certainly couldn't face her.

But why hadn't anyone said anything?

God. Why was I such a fucking embarrassment? Letting my emotions get the better of me like I was a sixteen-year-old boy again. The only difference was I wasn't sixteen anymore but the source of my issues had remained constant since then.

Aurora Nightingale.