Sam
I spent my weekend doing what I did best. Drinking away my sorrows after my shifts. I didn't bother answering my calls from my friends, lest not Harlow. I was in no mood to hear the inevitable reprimanding I would get from her. I knew it was coming, there was no avoiding it. We saw each other often. Her boyfriend was my best friend, for fuck's sake. To my dismay, that same logic meant that I would see Rory too and I wasn't quite sure I would be able to handle it.
Sunday was spent just as the last two days. I worked from nine in the morning at the call centre and then from six at the Low Lights. The plan was to sit down with a pint as soon as my shift finished at half ten. Only another hour and a half to go.
My phone buzzed in my pocket once more. It was the eleventh time that day and it was starting to get on my last nerve. I pulled my phone out of my pocket with irritation, pushing the decline button with force. It was Natalie. She was the last person that I wanted to talk to. She was in part the reason I was in this mess. She had been filling my head with insecurities and Rory's song had pushed me past my tipping point.
I glanced around me for a moment, ensuring there were no customers to serve or my bar manager around to scold me before finding my messages. I hesitantly clicked on the conversation with Rory, cringing as I reread our last texts.
Can you come over? We need to talk
Yeah, be right over :)
My regret hit me like a riot as the text stared back at me tauntingly, only serving as a reminder of how harsh I had been with her. The look of pure devastation on her face haunted my thoughts every time I closed my eyes and kept me up at night.
"What's a lass got to do 'round here to get served?" Natalie's shrill voice pulled me from my melancholia, causing me to jump in surprise.
"Be legal age, perhaps," I shot back, shoving my phone in my jeans pocket.
"Oh, give over, Sammy," she grinned, leaning over the bar, instantly causing me to cringe. Only Rory called me Sammy, well, she did until I blackmailed her to stop, but still. Someone else using the nickname made my stomach flip uncomfortably. "Ya've been ignoring my calls."
"I've been working," I told her with a shrug.
"What since Friday?" she snorted but my face remained stoic. "You're awful moody today."
"I'm not in the mood, Natalie," I grumbled, finding a dirty glass to preoccupy myself with cleaning.
"What's happened?" she asked softly, but I didn't respond. "Sam."
"Nowt," I muttered.
"It's not nowt," she sighed. "Is it Aurora?" I inhaled sharply. "It is, isn't it? What's she done now?"
"She hasn't done anything," I growled, clenching my fists tightly. Even broken up, I still felt oddly protective of her. It was only natural, I hadn't known any different since the day I met her.
"Clearly she's done sommat," she frowned. "Is it that song she uploaded? Because in my opinion, it's a bit tasteless and quite frankly-"
"I broke up with her!" I hissed, punctuating my sentence by slamming the glass down on the countertop.
"What? Really?" she gasped, a hint of... glee in her eyes, although I think I might have been hallucinating. "Are ya... alreet?"
"I'm fine," I told her harshly but she either paid it no mind or was far too in her own head to notice.
"I can stay if ya like, keep ya company," she smiled.
"I'd rather be on my own," I huffed, turning away from her to serve a punter. He was a regular. "Same as always?"
"Aye, kid." He nodded with a ghost of a smile. "Say, who's the lass? Thought you were with Rory?"
"She's just a friend," I informed him as I pulled his pint. "Uh, me and Rory aren't together anymore."
"You're joking!" he gaped. "Yous were so good together."
"Yeah, well, some things just don't work oot," I muttered, placing the glass in front of him. "That's £2.35."
"Keep the change," he told me as he handed over three pounds. "Maybe not, but a relationship like yours is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Yous might still be bairns but the way you look at her? It's the same way I look at my Betty."
I didn't know how to respond, the words dying on my tongue instantly as I opened my mouth. My heart tugged agonisingly as I trawled over his words, not bothering to look back at Natalie as I stormed out back, calling out to John that I was taking my break.
Aurora
Going back to school the following Monday was something I was in part looking forward to. I hadn't moved the entire weekend, hardly eating or sleeping, just staring at the ceiling in my room. I knew people said breakups were hard, but I felt like I'd had my whole heart torn out. What I wasn't expecting was for the rumours to spread quicker than wildfire.
"Is it true you and Sam broke up?" It was a simple question but it blindsided me in an instant. I stared at the girl in front of me in shock, my brain unable to process what she had asked me.
"Uhh, yeah," I whispered, my breathing becoming uneven.
"My sister told me yesterday. I didn't believe her, told her there was no way, yous were like lovesick puppies," she rambled, irritating Harlow who was beside me.
"And how exactly does your sister know?" Harlow asked harshly, folding her arms across her chest.
"She reckons Sam told her friend, Natalie." She shrugged, her words knocking the air from my lungs.
"Excuse me," I choked out, clumsily pushing past her and practically sprinting towards the toilets.
"Rory," Harlow called frantically, chasing after me.
I immediately sunk to the floor when I reached the safety of the girls' toilets, grateful that they were empty because I hadn't had the sense to check before I broke down in a fit of tears. Harlow pulled me into her arms, shushing me gently as the sobs racked my body. It did little to comfort me, however, my breaths coming out short and sharp as I began to hyperventilate.
"I... can't... breathe!" I cried in panic. The world around me was spinning and my hands were engulfed with pins and needles. My heart was racing so quickly that I thought I was having a heart attack. I didn't realise it at the time, but it was my first experience of a panic attack.
"You're alreet, breathe," she instructed me gently, stroking my back soothingly. "Here, breathe with me." She pulled away and inhaled exaggeratedly, encouraging me to do the same. She exhaled deeply. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
"I'm alreet," I assured her quietly when my breathing returned to normal. She offered me a sympathetic smile, wiping away the tear tracks on my face. I jumped as the door to the toilet swung up, tensing at the thought of someone else seeing me in this state but relaxed when I saw it was just Jess.
"What's wrong?" she demanded, falling to her knees beside me and Harlow. It was at this point I realised that I hadn't relayed the events of Friday night to her, nor Dean or Tom for that matter. The only people that knew were Harlow and my dad. Well, and Natalie, who I assumed was telling everyone she possibly could. "Rory? I don't like the look you're giving me. Has someone died?"
"Jess," Harlow hissed.
"What?" she replied innocently, her hands held defensively in the air.
"No one's died," I told her quietly, eliciting a soft 'oh' from her lips. "Sam broke up with me Friday."
"What?" she gasped. "Oh, Rora."
"It's fine, I'm fine!" I assured her but the waver in my voice gave me away. In truth, I wasn't sure if I was trying more to convince myself than her. "Please, I don't want to talk about it right now. I'll explain everything later."
"Alreet," she sighed softly, engulfing me in a hug.
A/N: I have quite a few chapters already pre-written, so I thought I'd spoil you all with another update :)) Hope you enjoyed !!
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Drop Dead | Sam Fender
Fanfiction'Did you come around here just to start a fight? Drop dead.' Sam's difficulty with relationships stems all the way back to his adolescence. He hasn't had it easy growing up in the Northeast of England but he managed to escape his teens unscathed. Mo...
