Drop Dead | Sam Fender

Chapter Forty One

Sam

The days following my and Rory's breakup seemed to be a repeat of the last. Either someone would ask me about my ex-girlfriend and I had to awkwardly tell them we weren't together anymore or they would have already heard the rumour but ask me anyway. I didn't understand it, was it really that much of a shock that we had ended things?

I still had yet to talk to Dean since it had happened. I wasn't sure he even knew. I was actively ignoring him. I had gotten shit from him about hurting Rory before we were even in a relationship, so I was dreading what his reaction would be now. I wouldn't blame him for being angry though, she was one of his best friends at the end of the day. I mean, I was angry at myself for hurting her. What I wasn't expecting was for him to be waiting outside my and my mam's flat when I got home from school.

"Dean?" I called out hesitantly. He pushed himself off the railing he was leaning against and turned to me.

"Sam," he replied curtly with a nod, his hands shoved in his pockets. I swallowed thickly, digging around in my backpack to find my keys, attempting to avoid my best friend's disapproving gaze in the process. I unlocked the front door and stepped inside, Dean following wordlessly behind me to my room.

"Alreet, let's have it," I muttered, tossing my worn backpack on my bed and sitting next to it.

"What the fuck is wrong with ya?" he demanded, the rage emanating from him like a kettle.

"Where would ya like me to start?" I snorted humourlessly.

"Sam, this isn't funny!" he hissed, running a hand through his hair and tugging at his dark locks. I turned my gaze away from him, feeling like a scolded child and in a way, I was. "D'ya realise how much ya've hurt Rory?"

"Yeah, well, that's not my problem anymore," I scoffed, resenting how much of dickhead I sounded.

"You're a fucking arse, ya know that?" he laughed in disbelief, shaking his head at my demeanour.

"Have ya maybe just stopped to think that maybe I'm hurting too?" I yelled, freezing as soon as the words left my mouth. I pushed myself off the bed, stalking over towards my desk so my back was turned to him, eager to conceal my true feelings on the situation.

"And the only person to blame is you, Sam! You broke up with her, not the other way around!" he growled. My jaw tightened with rage.

"Ya weren't there, Dean!" I hissed. "Ya don't understand!"

"Then make me understand!" he pleaded.

"I... I can't," I muttered, running a hand over my face.

"This is what I mean!" he huffed. "What am I meant to do?"

"I dunna!" I shouted, whipping back around to face him. "Look me and Rory are finished, it's done, so I'd rather not talk about it, alreet?"

"She's me best friend, Sam! Her best friend is my girlfriend for crying out loud!" he exclaimed.

"Just chose them if it's so fuckin' hard for ya," I spat as I leaned back against the hardwood.

"It's not about choosing, don't ya get that? And if ya think I would then ya don't know me at all! You're my best friend too, but from what Harlow's told me, I can't fuckin' stand ya at the moment," he spoke through gritted teeth.

"What d'ya want me to say, Dean?!" I demanded.

"I want you to fix this," he spoke firmly.

"Aye, well, that ain't gan happen," I told him, rubbing a hand down my face. "We don't work."

"I'm not asking ya to take her back, I'm asking ya to apologise to her," he huffed frustratedly. "Ya can't let three years of friendship go down the drain. She's your best friend, Sam."

"Not anymore," I said nonchalantly with a shrug. Dean gaped at me. "I'm done talking about this, so if that's all ya wanted..."

"Unbelievable," he muttered under his breath, heading towards the door but paused as he reached for the knob, turning to face me once more. "Ya know, the night I walked Rora home from the Low Lights, she told me that Natalie and Maeve had said some things about her and from the way she was acting, I'm not so sure they were very nice things." His words made my heart clench. "She was so worried about Natalie liking ya, petrified that ya'd leave her for her." I wanted to interrupt him, yell out that the insinuation was absurd, that I'd never leave Rory for Natalie, but I had already broken one-half of that promise. "What you said to her? That was just cruel."

My stomach dropped as I heard his words, my mind instantly conjuring up an image of Rory hunched over in a ball, sobs racking her small frame. I gritted my teeth at the thought of the pain I had caused her, watching silently as Dean walked through the door.

I really had fucked up and I wasn't quite sure I was ever going to be able to fix it.