Drop Dead | Sam Fender

Chapter Seven

Sam

I don't know why I was acting like such a dick. I resented myself for it, but I couldn't do anything to stop it. It was like I had no control over my body, forced to watch as I pushed Rory further and further away from me. I suppose in a way, it helped. I didn't have to repress my feelings when I was around her as I barely saw her anymore, but that hurt in its own right. There wasn't a day gone by since I'd met Rory had I not spoken to her and now, I'd go days without speaking to her. Even when I did, it would be nothing more than a few words. I would inevitably say something to hurt her more and I'd be left kicking myself. I could tell she was hurting. I wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in my arms and tell her how sorry I was but I couldn't let my feelings get in the way. Hopefully, I would get over this silly little crush soon enough and all would be well once more. Not that it was just a silly little crush. I was lying to myself about that, desperately trying to convince my subconscious of the fact. I knew that until I could manage my feelings, I would just have to watch from a distance.

I tried to distract myself with girls but it wasn't the same. I found myself picking them apart, analysing every bit of them, every quality they didn't have, the qualities that Rory had. I couldn't get her out of my head, even when she was nowhere to be seen. I found myself imagining what it would be like if Rory was the one I was kissing, holding hands with, taking out on a date. Not Jenny, not Tori, not Anna and not Heather. As much as I tried. I saw the hurt on Rory's face each time she passed and I was flirting with another lass, which was soon followed by an angered glare from Harlow and a look of disappointment from Dean. I just couldn't do anything right. Still, I suppressed the bitterness and continued on, hoping that everything happened for a reason.

Aurora

It hurt seeing Sam flirting with other girls but it eased my mind to know he never jumped into anything serious with them. His 'flings' never last more than a week, according to Dean at least. I spent many of my nights crying to Dean and Harlow. It didn't bother me that he didn't reciprocate my feelings. Okay, yes, it did but I would rather keep him as my best friend than nothing at all. We were heading down a path that I didn't like the look of. I was petrified that I would lose him forever and that hurt more than any rejection.

As the weeks turned into months, I found myself more accepting of the fact that Sam was seemingly 'done' with me. I didn't like it, but it was draining me too much to keep dwelling on the fact. I had to take care of myself and if that meant forgetting about Sam, then so be it.

Harlow, Dean and I were walking out of the school as the end of the day arrived, more than ready to head over to Dean's house to hang out. A smile adorned my face, which was a rare occurrence in the last few months. It was completely wiped from my face as I watched my best friend lip-locked with Heather Michaels, a girl in Dean and Sam's year group. I felt the wind being knocked from my chest, and the muffled voices of Dean and Harlow around me, but I couldn't focus on anything but the forest green jumper that drowned her form. His favourite jumper. The same one that he had let me borrow so many times before. The one he had told me looked better on me than it did on him. I felt the tears sting my eyes as the two pulled away and Sam's eyes met my own. I swore I saw his face drop slightly but maybe it was just because of the tears that blurred my vision.

"Rory," Dean mumbled touching my arm slightly in an effort to comfort me.

"Uh, I forgot I've got to meet my dad in like ten minutes," I told the two, attempting to sound cheerful but in all honesty, I just sounded empty. "We'll have to do this another day."

I scurried off before the two could even utter a reply, escaping before Sam had a chance to reach the group. I practically ran home, sprinting up the stairs to my room before my dad could notice the hot tears falling down my face and dived into my pillow. Fuck, this hurt.

Sam

As I pulled away from Heather, the first thing I noticed was Rory's eyes on me. I could see the hurt on her face but chalked it up to her being jealous that I had found someone else to spend time with, although, I could have sworn I saw tears in those eyes. I excused myself from the girl in front of me, telling her I'd call her later with a crooked smile and strode over to my supposed best friend. The best friend whom I'd barely spoken more than a string of sentences since that day. My eyes were glued to her figure as she sprinted away from Dean and Harlow, who up until that moment, I hadn't even noticed. I didn't pay any mind to the disapproving glares the two were giving me, too hung up on Rory's behaviour.

"I hope you're happy, Samuel," Harlow growled at me, snapping my attention away from Rory's retreating form to her.

"What?" I frowned.

"Fuckin' idiot," she hissed back, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "I'll see ya tomorrow, Dean."

"What?" I repeated to Dean as I watched Rory's new best friend storm off in the opposite direction.

"I can't believe ya," he told me, the disappointment lacing his words as the two of us began our journey home.

"Whatever I've done wrong, will ya just fuckin' tell me?" I huffed back at him.

"Are ya really that fuckin' stupid, Sam?" Dean asked through gritted teeth, pausing in his step.

"Aye, apparently so," I spat, folding my arms across my chest as I turned to face him. "Just tell us."

"Heather?" he deadpanned. He spoke as though it were the most obvious thing in the world but it did nothing more than confuse me further.

"What about her?" I questioned.

"I told ya Rory likes you," he huffed, gesturing his arm manically.

"And I told ya to drop it, Dean. If she liked us, she wouldn't have said what she did," I grumbled, storming in the direction of my house.

"You must be blind," he laughed sarcastically with a shake of his head as he caught up with me. "Rory's devastated."

"You're delusional, mate," I scoffed.

"No, the only delusional one is you," he told me, cutting me off before I could open my mouth. He stopped once more, jabbing a finger into my chest accusingly. "She's my best friend, I know when she's upset."

"She's my best friend too!" I growled, not liking his accusations one bit.

"Is she? You've ignored the girl for the past two months!" he spat.

"Because it hurts to be around her!" I admitted, frustration evident in my words. Why couldn't he understand where I was coming from?

"So, you decided to hurt her? Real mature, Sam," he spoke. The disappointment that laced his words hit like a bullet to the chest. I really had hurt Rory. It was never my intention but I had anyway. "You need to apologise to her."