Drop Dead | Sam Fender

Chapter Eighty Six

Sam

"I can't believe you're gan away again," Rory whispered, pulling me from my daydreaming.

The two of us were cuddled up in my bed, Rory's head laying on my chest as I absentmindedly ran my hand through her hair whilst staring up at the ceiling. It wasn't a good day for me. Not only was it the last time I would see my girlfriend for the next six or so weeks but I also had this unbudging wave of depression that I couldn't shift for the life of me. Usually, Rory was able to chase away my woes simply with her presence but I just felt empty, lost in my own head.

"Hmm," I hummed in reply, unable to muster the energy to form a verbal reply.

"I'm gan miss yer," she mumbled, her fingers fiddling with the neckline of my t-shirt.

"Yeah," I agreed. I didn't tear my eyes from the Artex, unblinking. I felt Rory shift, moving to sit up slightly and sending me a concerned glance.

"What's gan on with yer?" she asked.

"Hmm? Oh, it's nowt," I shrugged as I finally met her worried eyes.

"I don't believe that," she told me sternly.

"I'm fine, Scarlett," I muttered.

"Sam," she called.

"I don't want to talk about it," I huffed.

"So, there is sommat wrong?" she inquired, folding her elbows across her chest accusingly.

I scowled, "Rory, I'm fine. Just drop it."

"Clearly sommat's bothering ya," she sighed.

"Maybe there is but I don't wanna talk about it," I mumbled, lifting a hand to run it through my hair, tugging at the roots.

"Is it 'cause you're gan away again?" she inquired. I could feel the irritation festering itself at her incessant need to know what was going on inside of my head, bubbling away like a pot of boiling water at the brink of overspilling its confinements. "We're gan be alreet, Sam. We've managed it plenty of times now, we'll do it again-"

"Will yer just drop it, Aurora?!" I snapped, cutting her off mid-sentence. She physically jolted at the cutting tone of my voice, clearly not expecting the venom. I hadn't meant to snap at her but sometimes she really didn't know when to give up, something my unchecked temper couldn't cope with. I couldn't help the poisonous string of words that fell from my lips but in my blind anger, I wasn't able to filter them. "For fucks sake, man. Yer can't just leave things, can yer? And now we're arguing before I go on tour for a month and a half!"

Rory curled into herself like a child having been scolded by their parent, the hurt and guilt mixing in her blue eyes, hiding behind the glaze of tears. "I... I'm sorry," she mumbled, turning away from me in embarrassment.

My reply died on my tongue as the loud ringing of my phone sounded throughout the room. Liam. Why was he calling me?

"Hello?" I muttered into the speaker, holding the device to my ear.

"Areet, kidda?" he greeted me. His tone told me instantly that something was wrong.

"What's happened?" I demanded. I would much rather he cut straight to the chase than coddle the bad news with pleasantries and small talk.

"Why do yer assume sommat's happened?" he asked.

"Cut the shit, Li," I huffed.

"Alreet," he murmured. "Er, dad phoned."

"Reet..." I mumbled, urging him to continue.

"Sommat's come up... he's not gan make it over for your gig," he told me. I felt my stomach drop in disappointment, not that I would admit it out loud. I rarely got to see my dad as he lived in France with my step-mam, Annie and we never really saw eye-to-eye growing up. The only middle ground we had was music and so, I was really looking forward to him coming over to watch my next gig in Newcastle, just a mere week away. So much for getting my hopes up.

I let out a quiet scoff and rolled my eyes, my teeth grinding together in irritation. "And he couldn't phone me himself to tell us?"

"Sam-"

"No, it's fine," I spoke, my tone as passive-aggressive as ever. "I didn't want him there anyway."

"Don't be like that now, kid. It's alreet to be upset," he assured me.

"I'm not," I huffed. "Was that all?"

"Yeah but-"

"Lush. Tarra," I grumbled, abruptly ending the phone call and tossing the device on my bed. In my anger, I had completely forgotten Rory's presence, her stare now making me feel like I was naked and she could see right through me. She probably could. The girl could read me like a book no matter how hard I tried to hide my true feelings from her.

"What's... what's wrong?" she asked hesitantly.

"Dad's not coming next week," I muttered, swinging my legs over the side of my bed and stalking over to my wardrobe. Now seemed like a great time to finish my packing. I was due to leave in a matter of hours and was only half done. Plus it gave me a distraction from the letdown I had received.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know how much yer wanted him there."

"It's fine. I'm not bothered," I shrugged, desperate to hide the anger I felt.

I heard Rory's soft footfalls on the hardwood floor as she approached me but I didn't dare turn around. "It's alreet to be upset, Sam," she told me, reaching a hand out to touch my back, which only reignited my fury at her. I recoiled from her touch, whirling around so quickly I almost gave myself whiplash.

"I'm not upset!" I hissed.

"Reet," she hummed quietly, cautiously taking a step backwards to put space in between the two of us.

"I think yer should just leave, Aurora. I've got shit to do before I leave," I spoke harshly as I turned back to folding up a t-shirt to put in my bag.

"Is this really how yer wanna leave things before ya go away for six weeks?" she frowned.

"Just go, Rory!" I spat exasperatedly, banging my fist down on my desk. Silence engulfed us for a few moments and just as I was about to snap once more, the sound of my bedroom door opening and shutting softly echoed throughout the room. "Fucks sake!" I cursed as I tugged at my hair in frustration.

Here was Rory on the receiving end of my temper once again. It was something I was desperate to shake loose and I thought I was improving. Clearly not. It was always one step forward, three steps back with me and I resented myself for it.