To heal is to feel

Nightmare

zipping up my jacket and wrapping my arms around my stomach when I feel it turn and twist into nots.

"Okay, okay. Uhm-"

Just when Glenn was going to say something, thunder was heard from outside of the tent, making me flinch again at the noise.

Change the subject Lana.

"Glenn?" I ask, Glenn tilts his head in more confusion

"Yes?"

"Have you killed any one, since this started-"

"No." He cuts me off, his voice stern, "h-have you?" His lips look like they were suffocating by how pale they were getting

"No, of course not. How would I?"

"Sycho path much."

"What's a psycho path?"

"Basically a narcissist."

"What's a narcissist?"

"You are  to young to know what those words mean so I won't tell you till your older. Besides rick will probably kill me if he found it."

I laugh at Glenn's words, my laughing gets louder and louder

"Shh." Glenn tries to hush me, his face relaxed with humors lit in his eyes, something light swells in my chest. It feels weird and good at the same time.

My eyes start to water and my stomach starts to hurt.

"Shh. Lana I'm serious. What's so funny?" He starts to laugh too, but not as loud as me

"Your scared of rick." I say between laughs, starting clam down

"What... no I'm not. I'm scared of rick for you."

"That doesn't make any since."

Glenn scoffs and looks away, " go to sleep. Enough talk for know." He says before slowly laying back down and turning so his back is to me. I can feel his smile from where I am as I copy Glenn and push my self into the sleeping bag more than I was.

"Lanna." Glenn whispered , breaking the calming silence, I pick my head up from the pillow enough to look at the back of Glenn's head

"Yeah, Glenn." I whispered back, I see his shoulder tense as his hesitation is clear from where I am

"I won't let any one hurt you, as long as I'm here.you know your safe as long as your with us, right?" He says, in a promising tone. I close my eyes and turn my back to Glenn.

"Thank you Glenn." I say in full sincerity. He doesn't say anything after that, and the calming silence returns.

I didn't want to say to him what I actually thought. That no where is safe anymore. And we will always be in danger as long as we're running from the freaks. Hell find out sooner or later.

Besides, maybe Glenn and these people won't be so bad as company as I thought they'll be.

I know one thing for sure.

Glenn is my new friend.

*flash back*

Tw- C A/ child abuser/ abuse

I set the bowl of cereal down on the small circle table in my living room and rush towards the running faucet, hearing moms light footsteps coming from the narrow hallow.

The rising sun shine through the broken windows in front of the sink, I go on my tippy toes and quickly turn the faucet off , grabbing a napkin and drying the metal spoon I use to eat cereal every morning.

"Hey." Moms sleepy voice comes from the kitchens entrance, I turn to her and give her a beaming smile

"Good morning mama." I say, throwing the napkin in the trash can before walking past her towards the table, sitting down on my chair and started to eat my cereal as I watch the cartoon on the tiny t.v in the corner of the room.

Mom comes in with a banana and some oat meal, sitting down in her chair in front of me on the other side of the table.

"At around 2 Benny's going to be coming around and staying for a while, and I need you to stay in the room." I hear my mom say softly, I nod my head still looking at the cartoons.

"Did you hear me?" Mamas voice raises a bit, but I can't take my eyes off of the t.v as I laugh a bit at how funny the cartoon was.

"Yeah, mama." I say, scooping up some cereal in the spoon I cleaned, just as i was going to put the spoon in my mouth , my mom grabs the side of my face softly, making me look up at her.

"Ben is going to be bringing some heavy stuff and I don't want you going near it, I'm looking out for you. Do you understand?" Her fingers start to dig into my cheeks, making me start to squirm in my seat

"Mama, your hurting me-"

"Do you understand Lana!" She yells, spitting in my face, I couldn't respond. She knew I couldn't. She lets go of my face but before I could breath I feel a forced make contact with the left side of my face.

A cry escapes my lips before I could swallow it down. I bring my hand up to run my cheek softly. Ouch.

"I understand! I understand."

When the little hand on the clock ticks to one and the big hand rick to two, i dash into the bedroom. Jumping into the bed making it squeak a bit before I cover myself in the blankets , pretending to be asleep.

I don't come out of  moms and i room, forcing myself to choose to ignore  the sound of loud but slow music from the living room, just feet away from the other side of the door.

Mom's laughter along with Benny's  laughter booms along the house, before I hear a crashing sound and a light thump. My breathing suddenly becomes fast.

"Mamma?" I whispered, mostly to myself since I'm the only one that could hear me. I slowly roll the cover off of me and swing my legs over the dipped bed, using my hands to help me get out of the bed with out a sound.

"Mama."

My hands couldn't help but shake , the sound of the familiar grunts and painful whimpers traveled to my ears and filled my mind with familiar thoughts and images.

I open the door, not caring what happens to me at the moment. I walk down the hall and stop just at the end of the hallway. Terrified at the scene in front of me. Oh my god.

"Stop, your hurting her." I state, my voice stern as I shoot daggers at Ben, he doesn't listen to me. I don't think he can even hear me. He pushes mom to the ground and start to kick her anywhere he can. I flinch each time.

Despite my fear I managed to make my way to the very mad Ben. Why was he mad? Wasn't he laughing with mom right now?

I grabb his arm that hand loosely by his side, his fingers holding something that smells stronger than the familiar scent of a cigarette, his other fingers holding a cigarette.

"I said stop, asshole!" I scream over the music, he turns around at the feel of some one touching his arm, he carelessly brings his hand with the cigarette up to my shoulders

"Ben, don't!" My moms voice yells with anger and frustration, but the feeling of heat hitting my whole arm and the smell of flesh fill my nose and distract me from a scream.

My own scream.