To heal is to feel

Real

"So, is this how I'm going to be pulling my weight around here?" I say, a tiny grin pulling at the corners of my lips as I look up at Carmen with a new sense of awe.

She nods her head as heavy pants leave her lips. Her uncommon breathing ... It's understandable after what she just showed me.

The groaning man on the floor is the evidence of what she could do to you.

I look around the sealed room. Concrete walls surrounded us, limited ,intimidating weapons hanged on the wall behind Carmen, a mat laid on the floor beneath me.

"Wipe that grin off your face , Lanna. This is life and death. I'm not joking around about this shit." Her tone comes out quite and rougher than her normal voice, her words stinging me as my face drops completely.

"I'm sorry." I mumble as I shift on my feet. I hear her footsteps near me and I take a deep breath, ready for the first sting.

Only, there was never a sting.

A bumpy hand cut my chin before it's gently pulling my face forwards. Carmen's calm, sweet eyes looking down at me with... nothing.

"Sorry is never going to get you anywhere, not here. At least not for you. So your going to stop saying it permanent, okay?" She says with the same tone and I nod my head firmly.

"Okay." I say, feeing myself straighten up with my chin still in her hands.

"Alright." She lets out a heavy sigh before kneeling down by the hurting man and sitting him up. His face faces both me and Carmen.

"Let's begin." She says before I feel a long wooden stick heavy in my hands. I look down at it , then up at Carmen, " Are you with me Lanna?" She asks

"Forever." As the words left my mouth, I felt a new wall sliding up my heart. I'm forever with Carmen.

___

I listen to Glenn and Tara's conversation silently because I have nothing to say. I do , however, feel a earthquake make a crack between my chest when Tara says the name Hershel.

Her leader killed him.

I also make out that she was under influenced by this guy named Bryan.

I'm the first one to stop when I shine the flashlight in front of me more to make out a pile of rocks forming a mountain.

The snarls of the walkers closer than ever. I take out my dagger before walking firstly. After i gam my weapon into one walkers head, I feel a tap on my shoulder and look back to see it was Glenn.

He was gesturing towards the flashlight then to something he was grabbing a hold of. Oh. I realize then that since Maggie went this way, she might not have made it out alive.

I shine some light and immediately notice it wasn't Maggie. Her face is still blurry in memory but I somehow know that wasn't her.

I bring my dagger up before doing what I did to the other walkers. I then see that we are at a dead end. Only way is up. So , I bite the end of the flash light before climbing my way to the top of the mountain.

I hear the others follow me before I think about looking down at them. I don't seem to notice the big sharp rock sticking out before my palm is sinking into it.

"Shit balls." I hear myself wisp-her before shaking the hand from the stinging sensation. Why am I always getting injured at the wrong moment.

The others make it up before I do, even though I started climbing the rocks first. Whatever, it doesn't matter. I shake my head of the thoughts as I wipe my shaky palm over my vest. I look down at the ground to see what the others were looking at.