To heal is to feel

Be a Tree

I look from the end of the bridge as rick and some of the others that were 'capable' of moving were getting rid of the walkers that have been following us since the morning.

It was going good. Smoothly. That was before Sasha wanted to go all killing spree and ignored michone hisses words.

I could tell that they were silently arguing because of how they were sizing each other up with there body and eyes.

Sasha gave michonne a psycho stare before she moved past michonne and towards the end of the bridge. At least the walkers are dead.

We started to flow down the road. Again.

——

"Do you ever wonder if this is it?" I ask as I look from the book with different languages in it, to Negan.

"What do you mean?" He grunts out before setting Lucille next to his black couch, taking a seat next to me on the leather fabric.

"What do I mean?" I shut the book gently and let it lay on my lap, "exactly what I said." I add , Negan lets out a amused chuckle before fully facing his body towards me.

Carmen was out on a run so I had to stay with Negan. Carmen doesn't like me alone. Not around the people here... the men especially.

She took our alfalfa. Saying that alfalfa would like to spend some time hunting then being sooped up with me in this factory.

What does Carmen know of what alfalfa wants. She can't talk.

"Yes, I do think this is it kid." He answers me, scratching his shaved chin before looking straight into my eyes, " why do you ask?" He then ask a question.

"It just-" it happens again. The trouble to find the good enough words to fly out of my mouth, " it just doesn't ... feel like this is it. Like there's something more. It's like that mosquito each that's there but isn't. Like the feeling of a ant crawling on you but you just can't... find it. You know?"

—-

"Dad, look." Carls voice says from in front of me, causing me to snap from the distant memory.

I look around and notice Daryl's absence. The groups silence as they all walk forwards, with eagerness. I walk with them to see that over the road hill we're a group of abandoned cars.

I flow away from everyone and towards a poop green car. I have no hope that we'll find anything, but what else am I going to do?

I pull on the cars door but it doesn't open. I release a groan from the back of my throat when it doesn't give for the third time.

"It's locked." Eugene's voice speaks out from behind me , I turn my head towards him and feel my eyes narrow unintentionally.

"I didn't notice." I say with a bit of sarcasm. My body leans forwards and I feel myself lean against the car, before I turn on my back and slid down the dusty window.

Eugene's loud and clumsy feet filling my ears as they descend to whatever he was gonna do.
—-

He doesn't say anything after my ranting nonsense. He looks at me as if I was a two headed deer. It made a bit of frustration hit my heart.

"What?" It comes out snappy and rude but he doesn't seem to take it personally. One thing I've notice about him.

Even if he was troubled by words, he never let his guard down enough for the person to see. I admired that.

"Nothing, it's just-"

"So it's not nothing-"

"Your always saying the most oddest things. It makes my head spin." He says, a expression of dizziness appearing on his face.