To heal is to feel

Chaotic Noise

Shane and rick whispered some words to each other but I couldn't take my eyes off of the big man that shot Carl. He was breathing heavily with sweat dripping from everywhere I could see. He looked exhausted.

I don't feel bad for him.

I only take my eyes away from him when Rick starts to drag me back into the house , Shane following close behind us.

I twist my hand out of Ricks grip slowly as we enter back into the room where Carl was still laying unconscious

Hershel asked what his blood type was but I stayed silent because I didn't know know what he was talking about.

"A- positive, same as mine." Rick answered in a unstable voice.

"That's fortunate. Don't wander far. I'm gonna need you." Hershel says as he looks at rick then to the guy that shot Carl.

"What happened?" Hershel asked him

" I was tracking a buck. Bullet went through it. When clean through." Otis, that was his name, replied looking as if he was in a daze. It's probably his first time shooting a little boy.

"The deer slowed the bullet down, which certainly saved his life. But it did not go through clean. It broke up into pieces. If I can get the bullet fragments from out... I'm counting six." Hershel said while Otis moved past me towards the blonde lady

I focused my ears on his heavy breathing behind me before he decided to open his mouth,

"I never saw him, not until he was on the ground." He said and the old blonde lady wrapped her arms around him , to comfort him? He's not the one laying unconscious on a bloody bed, Carl is.

" Lori doesn't know? My wife doesn't know. My wife doesn't know." Rick starts to say before he breaks down again .

I have to look away when I noticed the unfamiliar burn in my eyes and nose that I haven't felt in a while.

I let Shane take my place from next to rick when I saw he wanted to comfort the emotional father. I went to lean against the wall next to the door.

Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up.

I repeated in my head as I focused my eyes on carls pale sleeping face. He couldn't... leave. Not until we find Sophia and I'm not alone, again.

I felt rough feeling hands lead me out the door and onto a couch, plopping me down, before the hands left me and took a seat besides me and the other side dipped letting me know someone else sat besides me.

I was sandwiched between to smelly people but I didn't look up at them. Knowing who it was I just sat there and looked down at my shoes. My shoes had red big spots of red. I released a quite groan when I noticed it was carls blood. Carls blood was decorating the only shoes I had.

There's was a faint ticking of a clock that my ears found interesting.

"Why'd I let him come with us? I should have sent them with Lori." I hear Ricks voice replace the ticking sound but still couldn't look up into his eyes just yet

" you know, you start that, you'll never get that monkey off your back." Shane said but I didn't know what that meant? Was he trying to put it nicely because I was between them and could hear what he was saying?

" little girl goes missing, you look for her. Simple. You said call it. Head back." Rick said,  but nothing anymore was simple

I diverted my gaze from my bloody shoes to my hands and then my shirt and my arms. Blood, carls bloody was shown everywhere of me. Tiny specks still noticeable.