To heal is to feel

Raining sadness

"Daryl." I look up from the yellow lines to Glenn. He held out a half empty bottle of water towards daryl, who has been walking besides me. Silently.

He shakes his head. Refusing the drink. Glenn tries again but daryl stubbornness keeps on pushing Glenn's offers away.

"Hey, we can make it together. But only together." Glenn's tired but hopeful eyes cause a bang of guilt to form in my chest.

It felt selfish of me to keep letting him think that what this was isn't the end or going to become toe normal.

It felt wrong to keep letting him think this wasn't it. This is it. It will always be just the trees and us. Perhaps in this case the road.

"Tell them j went looking for water." I feel Daryl's hand give my shoulder a squeeze before he's venturing off into the woods. For the hundredth time.

I hear a whistle and look away from the trees and towards the front of the road. Rick, waving his hand for me to come towards him.

I sigh out before quickening my pace and going towards him. When I get to him, he's still looking over his shoulder.

"He went out looking for water." I say, hardly believing it myself. He nods and I come to the thought that he only wanted to know where daryl went so I turn and start to walk back to my orignignal spot.

However, I don't make it far till a hand is placed on the top of my head and I am being drag back towards rick.

I swish his hand from my hair as soon as I come to a walking pace with him. I turn my head and smile up at michone.

She gives me her best smile before we both look away. She's exhausted.

"What?" I ask, looking up at rick now.

"Nothing, just stay here. Don't go back." He says before he begins to stare off into the space between the trees. Oh.

I do what he says not because I wanted to but because of how he said it. It was filled with worry.

If it was worry for me then I would do anything to make it vanish. Rick would not feel the need to worry for me. Never ever again.

The airy silence begins to flow in to our own personal bubbles. I take out one of my arrows and turn it in my hands.

The wood part already a little chipped. Carmen promised she'll make me new ones when these got old...

"How'd you end up with the bow?" I hear Rick ask from above me. I bring my head up as I feel the top of the pointed part start to dig into my skin.

I look back down at it before moving the arrows tip from my arm to the center of my palm.

"My friend. My great friend." I speak lowly and in a mumble in hopes that he won't hear what I said. Carmen was more than a friend. She was my best friend.

But I like the thought that I and I alone will forever know that.

"Can you speak about this great friend?" He then asks. I take a moment and think about his words.

Can I? Of course, I can open my mouth and speak the words. But what will I say? Do I want to?

If I start to describe my friendship with Carmen , I don't think I'll be able to stop.

"No." I say, sliding the arrow into its holder and leaving it at that. The walk is filled with the silence again.

Only it isn't airy. It becomes tense as we slowly come to a stop. Something weird stomping us from continuing our walk.