To heal is to feel

Walkers in the barn

The breakfast is silent the next day. When I decide that I don't want anymore eggs I silently give them to Carl. He needs them more than me seeing as he is still recovering from being shot.

"You sure you are full?" Sweet Carl ask from besides me. I nod like I've done plenty of times before.

The quite was almost peaceful .

Until Glenn got up from his seat and walks towards the center of the fire where we were all eating.Some more than others.

"Um,guys. So... the barns full of walkers." He says and just like that the peaceful silence is turned into a tense silence that you couldn't even cut it with a machete.

Shane is the first one to walk towards the barn with the rest behind him. I slept with my gun that was still hidden inside my jacket and shirt. Daryl was back in his tent so I was extra careful not to shoot him in his sleep.

I want to tell him. But I'm scared of what Shane will do. He'll be disappointment or worse betrayed if I broke our promise. I hate him.

Although walkers in the barn. Just a few minutes away from where we sleep in tents, that aren't that much of a barrier , takes the whole fear.

Fear, it's so confusing isn't it?

"You cannot tell me your alright with this." Shane says after he tried to look into the barn.

"No I'm not, b it were guest here. This isn't our land." Rick says.

"This is our lives man!" Shane starts to shout

"Lower your voice." Glenn says to him

"We can't just sweep this under the rug." Andrea says and I can't help but agree with her. Am I going to say something out loud? No, they don't care about what I have to say.

"It ain't right, not remotely." Since when did Shane care about what was remotely right?

"Okay we've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or we've got to go. Now we have been talking about fort banning for a long time." Shane starts to list plans.

I don't want to go. I actually like it here. Besides, we still need to find Sophia and I don't thing we are gonna be able to do that on the road.

"We can't go." Rick argues. Yes.

"Why, rick? Why?" Shane says, and Carol steps forward,

"Cause my daughters still out there." She says, crossing her arms in hopes to comfort herself.

"Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility." Shane says after sighing a little dramatically

"Shane we are not leaving Sophia behind." Rick tells him but if only rick knew that Shane wouldn't have a problem doing just that.

"I'm close to finding this girl. I just found her damn doll two days ago." Daryl's steps forward and says, causing Shane to let out a brief chuckle

My finger slide over the outline of the gun that was tucked beneath my clothing. We aren't leaving. I'm not leaving.

"You found her doll, daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll." Shane tells daryl. There's a moment of silence before daryl steps forwards again

"You don't know what the hell your talking about." Daryl yells. I take a step back from the scene. I could practically feel the anger radiating off of both Shane and Daryl.

"I'm just saying what needs to be said. You've got a good lead. It's in the first 48 hours." Shane says but I think Shane needs to shut up with his leads crap.

"Shane stop." Rick gets between the both heated men. But even I know that angry men are stupid and reckless.

"Let me tell you something else man. If she was alive out there and saw you coming all merged out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction." Shane yells at daryl.

Daryl tries to jump at Shane but rick pushes him back. Of course, Shane has to make it worse and tries to push rick away to get to daryl.

Finally, Lori pushes Shane back which causes him to walk away from her and Daryl.

"Keep your hands off me." He says.

"Just let me talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out." Rick says, Shane was a few feet away from me when he said this.

He turns to him with clenched fist.

"What are you going to figure out!" He yells, I flinched. I fucking flinched from his tone of voice.

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear the barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land." Rick yells at Shane and I have to press my fingertips into my leg to keep myself from flinching again

"Hershel sees those things as people-sick people. His wife, his stepson." Dale says. Dale knew?

"You knew?" Glenn says, a hint of disappointment in his voice

"Yesterday I talked to Hershel." Dale confessed

"And you waited the night?" Shane asks, pointing a accusing finger at the old guy. I think we are losing focus of the actual problem here.

Walkers in the barn.

"I thought we could survive one more night. We did. I was waiting till this morning to say something but Glenn wanted to be the one." Dale states matter of fact. But we couldn't of survived... we could've been killed by a horde of walkers that broke through a weak barn.

We would hear them to late.

I shift my eyes from Dale to Glenn.

"The man is crazy rick-" I cut Shane's voice from my ears and zero in on the lock that's holding the doors of the barn.

It starts to jiggle, then the doors start to move. The moans. There's at least dozens of them in there judging by how loud they are.

Nope.

I turn around and walk to daryl and I's tent. I grab my bag and start to fill my stuff with it. It wasn't much anyways.

Just incase we need to go in a hurry. I'll be ready.
I take my knife from my bags pocket and rick it safely in my pants waist band.

The group doesn't need to know, besides is safer to be at the ready then unprepared.

I tuck my back pack in the corner of our tent before heading out of the tent.

I went back to the wooden fence. I took a wobbling seat on the middle pole while I'd tap my arms on the top pole.

I breathed in the fresh air and hold it for as long as I could hold it. My legs swing back and forth as I watch the clouds slowly move.

I could feel her close. We will find her. Sophia I mean. And then carol won't be so sad anymore. If I could of made it all those days before finding Rick, then I don't see how Sophia couldn't either.

There was this feeling in my stomach, and it's telling me that she's close. Somewhere in those woods.

I hear the crunching of leaves coming from a few feet behind me and look over my shoulder to see Shane striding towards Hershel's house with the bag of guns with him.

He looked determined.

I get off of the pole quickly and slowly follow behind him. Making sure not to make any noise in order to not train his focus to me.

I hope Rick convinces Hershel to let them kill the walkers very soon. Or I think Shane's just going to recklessly do something he won't regret.