To heal is to feel

Parts of Roots

 

I hum mamas song as I attempt to make a braid in rositas hair. Her head resting on my lap, using my pants to dry her skin.

I don't know how to make a braid, that's why I said try. Carmen liked braiding my hair before training, before bed, she'll sometimes wake me up in the middle of the night because she was bored and needed something to do...

I didn't mind.

I grab a hand full of rositas hair and squeeze the water out. The water dripping quietly towards the barns , soaked floors.

"What's that your humming?" Rositas voice ask a bit over the pouring rain outside. I lean forwards and look down at her eyes, trying desperately to not fall asleep.

"My mama, " I grab other soaked chunks of her greasy hair and squeeze, "My mama would sing it to me whenever I needed comfort." Comfort from her striking hands. From her lovers big hands.

The distant sound of the fire rick and some others tried to make , with wet sticks, could be heard slowly dying down.

Don't they know that you can't make a fire with wet sticks?

"Why don't you sing it?" Rosita then asks me. I let my back thud onto the barns wounded pole. The hay under us sticking to our cloths.

But we didn't care.

"You wouldn't really rate it a five star." I feel deep inside my chest a jawing feeling for lying to her. Well, not full lying but still.

But I simply didn't want her to know. I didn't want her to know that my voice isn't so pleasant , and that I do sing the song.

Only to myself. Because if I sang it with any other person, then it wouldn't be mamas song anymore. It'll be that persons song. It's just that good.

"Your voice isn't ugly, Lanna. It was calming me down just now, but.." she lets out a sigh before I feel her drap her arms over my goosebumps legs,

" Whatever you say." She finishes before I see her shoulders relax and hear her panting breaths slowly turn into steady beats.

She was falling asleep, so I went back to humming the song she said calmed her down. The base of my throat vibrating and making my cheeks tingle.

It was a few minutes after rosey fell asleep that the tiny fires light has completely vanished into the hollowing wind.

I slowly put my hands underneath her head and shoulders, biting my lip as I lift her the least to bring my knees to my chest.

With my hands still attached to her skin, I gently lay her head on my backpack that was behind me. I wait a few seconds to make sure she hasn't woken up before I slowly stand to my full form.

I stretch my arms up before walking towards the barns door. I stretch my arm out and let the furious water soak all of my hairs up.

For a moment I just stood there. With my arm out the door, my eyes meeting the glow of the full circle up in the sky.

I wasn't scared of the noises coming from the patches of rain. It was the most alone thing I've done since being with these people.

I was thirsty for it.

I feel the wind pick up and brush my hair off my shoulders and back. Suddenly there was a large crashing sound , making me look from the calming moon to the tree branches as they slowly fell to the ground.

Then, as the branches stop falling from their home on their tree, a walker appears from the air.

Walking towards me, these people. I look back and check they are all safe and sound. When I make the realization that they are fine, I grab one of my arrows and sling the bow from my shoulders over to my hands.