To heal is to feel

Scared of her

"Where's the restroom?" We're the first words I spoke to Maggie when I saw Lori enter the house with rick

She was crying so much while Rick did the same while trying to comfort her. She couldn't tear her eyes off of the blood on his shirt with her wild and sad eyes

It made me feel self conscious about the blood spilled all over my clothing and skin. She would be disguised me more. That made me scared of her and her eyes.

Eyes hold everything.

Maggie led me to a room and then the bathroom inside it, I smiled politely in thanks. She smiled back with soft eyes that made my face feel hot. I closed the bathrooms door and locked it when I saw that it had a lock.

I reached towards the sink and layed my visibly shaky hands on the edge, releasing a shaky breath. I now let the burning feeling coming from my eyes and nose become bigger.

It wasn't long till I felt wet big tears running down my face, and my nose to feel slimy at the nostrils.

I made the mistake of look up through my lashes at the mirror to see the bright red blood of carls painting my arms little by little.

I was a painting of blood.

I started to breath heavily when the thought of Lori seeing me like this came too mind. It would be sad, embarrassing, destroying her.

She would ask Rick what happened and Rick will tell her that I lead Carl with me to the deer. And in someways that was true. She would make up her mind about me being the reason her son got shot and is close to death.

Her son. Oh, Carl.

Suddenly the tears came out to quickly and my breathing couldn't slow down from its running pace. I cause Carl his pain, loris pain, Ricks pain.

Oh Carl. Poor Carl.

I made up my mind to not go outside till the blood was rid of me. I turned the faucet on and waited until there was enough water in my hand to pour it over mg arms.

I rub my arms over the bright red blood and almost screamed in relief that it was slowly fading away. My breathing seemed to slowly fade into its normal breath as the blood went away.

I look back up at the mirror now with my whole eyes and saw that my face was marked with spots of carls blood. Oh my god.

I quickly filled my hands with water before bending over the sink and splashing my face with multiple hits of water.

I felt like I was drowning but I'd rather feel that then go outside with the blood of Carl all over my face. Once I couldn't feel the slimy texture of his blood on me anymore I turned the faucet off and looked back in the mirror with hopeful eyes.

I was clean except my cloths and jacket, I released a annoyed sigh before zipping my jacket up to prevent my bloody shirt to be seen to loris eyes.

I looked down and couldn't help but release a whimper when I saw the blood still on my pants and shoes.

I whipped my head up when there was a sound of a nock at the door, I suddenly felt a sting in my scalp and realized that my hair got stuck in the zipper

"Lanna, are you alright? Maggie said you asked to go to the restroom but you've been in there for a while. Lanna... open the door. Please?" Rick, his voice came out weak and muffled by the door but I knew he was standing right outside.

How could rick not be mad at me for being the cause of carls pain. I ignored Ricks voice and tried to unzip my jacket to free my hair but it wouldn't budge