To heal is to feel

Disgusting

I stand still behind Andrea as she tries,  with another round of bullets, to shoot a big piece of wood Shane hanged up on a tree.

Shane checks it when she's done and shakes his head

"Still a virgin." He says with a smirk, Andrea huffs.

"The targets to small." She tries to excuse. I went before her and made four shots.

"Come on, that's crap. Half- hour ago I saw you nail a bulls eye at 25'. "Shane says, I realize that I'm not going to get another chance to shoot so I tuck the gun away.

I'm mentally trying to send Andrea a message to tell her to keep it up so I won't have to shoot again. I want to go back to camp.

But Shane didn't listen to rick when rick told him that I had enough for today. So here I am.

Shawn gave me back the mint gun rick took from me and told me that it was mine now. Just to not tell Rick that he let me keep it.

I want to burn it.

"It was moving to fast." Andrea complaints , I roll my eyes

"You think a walkers gonna hold still for you? Focus and reload, go again." Shane says before pushing the wooden piece hard so it starts to swing again

Andrea aims the gun in front of her again for the fourth time. She misses.

"Oh did I piss you off. Come on girl, walkers are everywhere.  There is the woods.There in the r.v. Your gonna need more than a damn screw driver." Shane taunts Andrea while I just look on.

I'm actually quite scared to get between them.

I want to go back to where Daryl is. Where Rick is. Where Glenn is. Where anyone but Shane is.

"Stop badgering me." Andrea tells him

"Your to Damn emotional. You need to shut it down. Take all that guilt, take that fear, take that being pissed off, take it out." Shane starts to raise his voice.

But he's words start to print in my head with out my permission.

Take it out.

"Right, 'cause your so calm." Andrea says which causes Shane to take his gun out and shoot the piece of wood quickly. Without thinking.

"I could be whistling "Dixie" and I'll always hit the target. But you, god, you shoot like a damn girl." Shane tells Andrea.

What wrong with shooting like a girl?

Andrea reloads her gun as Shane starts talking. He just keeps on talking. It's making my head hurt.

"Your stand here and you point your weapon. Point like you point your finger. Do not think about it. I'm talking about muscle memory girl- - muscle memory. Now go on , shoot that some of a bitch." Shane says before he again pushes the wood thing

Andrea tries again and Shane takes it apon himself to start yelling 'encouragement' to her. I don't listens much into his words until he says,

"Right there, that's the walker that got Amy. Now you shoot that son of a birch! Shoot him!"

Andrea stops and looks at him as if he were a monster. She takes a few steps back before walking angrily past him.

I stare at the side of his face with narrow eyes.

"Get in the car Lanna." Shane says with out looking at me. I swallow down some nerves before turning and following him to the car. I make sure my- the gun Shane gave me is on safety before tucking it beneath my shirt then my jacket.