Sinful Pleasure | 18+

Chapter 39 - Axel

I told her. I fucking told her. God. It felt good-so good. She knew parts of me I couldn't stomach the thought of saying out loud because then it would become reality and I hated that. But it was different this time and I hadn't regretted any part of it, and I wouldn't start now. No.

And although I hadn't told her everything, yet, she wasn't mad but instead reassured me to open up more when I felt like I would be ready. It made me smile, knowing she cared about me when I thought she never did-or would. Kez fucking cared about the one person who wasn't nice to her from the beginning. Jesus Christ.

I owed her. I owed that girl a lot and she knew it, and I'd give it to her. I fucking would.

Sighing, I kept my gaze on my Vixen, watching her as she poked her head out of the car window. I had been staring at her for a little while now; admiring her and smiling at her. Truth, I had been smiling like an idiot from this morning till now in the afternoon, and I couldn't stop. I opened up and I was happy but also because she was happy I did, and because I felt free from the prison inside my head; my own personal hell I felt like I couldn't ever escape from, but I did.

I was so fucking grateful because the unbearable weight I'd been carrying on my shoulders for so long had been lifted off and I could breathe a little more now. Fuck. It was exciting-this feeling; happiness, and I wanted to share more of it with my girl, I just hoped she felt the same way.

Breathing in the fresh air that filtered into the car from the rolled-down windows, I studied Kez carefully; her demeanour, the way she smiled widely as if she were free and capable to do whatever, or how her eyelids fluttered before they closed and she allowed the wind to blow her blonde hair back and away from her pretty face, and the way she breathed in deeply to feel more of the earth's atmosphere.

Tilting my head to the side, I smiled half-heartedly as she looked over at me, but only for a second because she sheepishly looked away and her cheeks turned a bright red. Nervous little thing. Chuckling, I gazed away and tipped my head back, resting it on the headrest.

Somehow, despite my asshole attitude and reputation for not giving a fuck about the people closest to me I still cared. I cared so much. And I felt like shit seeing Kez smile as if nothing ever happened. She shouldn't be this happy knowing I still hadn't apologized for so much shit I put her through.

There were so many sorry's I owed her that I should of the second we became involved with each other, but what I knew back then wasn't what I knew now. My anger from and toward my past gave me no right to treat her like shit, but there it was. And now here it was-the guilt. I felt bad and I wanted to fix it. I swear I would.

And I wouldn't wait till the last moment because the time I did before, all the apologies I owed Killian went up in flames and it was too late to say them out loud. I made a mistake once and sure as hell wasn't going to do it again because I didn't want to live through the same hell I was still trying to completely pull myself out from.

Fucks sake. I couldn't believe I wished I wasn't such a fucking asshole.

Sighing, I straightened my neck and pulled my body forward, snaking my arm around the passenger seat where Creed sat. I grabbed the cigarette from his hand and stuck it in between my lips, earning a growl from him. "It's your last one, might as well pass it around." I shrugged and sat back, smirking as he scowled at me over his shoulder.

"How much longer?" Kez uttered out, rolling the window back up and sliding over to me.

Taking a drag, I looked at her and watched as she brought her legs up on the car seat, squishing herself against me. "Ten minutes or so," I said, blowing out the cloud of smoke and placing the cigarette into her mouth before putting my arm up on the back of the seat.