Sinful Pleasure | 18+

Chapter 52 - Axel

"What're you doing?" I frowned at Ricky, who was setting a flower down by the gravestone-pulling him back by the shoulder. I snatched the red rose from his hand and threw it to the side like rubbish.

"Dude, what the fuck?!" he said, loudly.

"Axel, c'mon," Damon chimed in.

Pressing my lips together, I sat on the bench behind me, shrugging my shoulders as I put my arms up to rest on the back of it. "He didn't like roses, especially red roses," I stated matter of fact, huffing. A smile spread across my face, Ricky rolled his eyes and Damon shook his head, both walking over to sit on either side of me.

We sat in silence for a little, soaking up the peace surrounding the whole graveyard. A short while after what happened with my brother and I back at the house, the boys decided to drag me out and help get my mind off all of the shit I had dumped on me so carelessly.

But we ended up visiting Killian, so, of course it hadn't worked like I knew they would've hoped for, but it did help cool me down. And, I mean, at least they tried to help. I couldn't get mad at them for that.

Staring at the headstone, I slouched a little in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest. The longer and harder I stared the more annoyance built up inside of me. I had never seen Killian's grave-I was always afraid, afraid to face reality, afraid to feel my heart ache-afraid to see what I had done.

I mean, I thought I killed him, and now I didn't? God. I was so pissed at Roman for not telling me the whole truth. If I knew, a small part of my fear would have disappeared and I would have fucking visited-everyday-even if it was only for a few minutes.

"I only ever came here twice."

Snapping my head in Damon's direction, I furrowed my brows, curiosity and surprisement sparking inside of me. He swallowed and then glanced at me. "Don't feel bad that you never did," he said, standing up.

"Why?" I asked, eyes following him as he took a few paces forward.

Grabbing the flower off the ground, he walked over to the grave and kneeled, spinning the stem between his thumb and index finger. "Seeing his face on a gravestone was a reminder of how much I failed him," he mentioned, bringing the red flower to his nose. He gently closed his eyes and then slowly inhaled. One beat passed, two...three, then he opened his eyes and pulled his hand back, setting the rose on top of the grave.

I sat there silent and frozen, only swallowing hard. I didn't know what to say, and even if I had, D would hate the pity.

Sucking in a breath, he stood up and turned to face Ricky and I, shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. "Also, we moved back to America so I couldn't visit even if I wanted to." he shrugged.

I pressed my lips together, looking back at the grave. "Why..." I paused for a beat, shrugged, then shook my head before going on, "why didn't you ever hate me?" I questioned, looking up at Damon-staring at him with dead eyes.

He stared back at me, though as if he was trying to come up with a reason right on the spot-as if he never really thought about why he didn't hate me for what I had done. "Because Killian didn't hate you."

Not sure what to say, I kept quiet again, averting my eyes to the ground. I had a few questions roaming inside my head now, and I wanted to ask but I knew all the answers had to come from Roman. He was the last person who talked to Kills. But, hearing those words-knowing that Killian didn't hate me for what I did, it really loosened the strain against my heart.

Gliding my tongue between my lips, I opened my mouth to speak only for it to close as a loud engine caught my attention. I half turned my body, raising a hand in front of my eyes as the car lights were too bright.