AFFLICTION

70 ~ [Remorse And Pain]

LEERA POV

Sitting on the settee on the swimming poor area in the backyard, I hugged the pillow and remained drowned in thoughts. It's been 2 days since that night. That night after he made me food and he dropped me to the villa when I said I wanted to come back here. We didn't talk anything more than that other than me asking him to bring me back here. And I haven't seen him since last 2 days. He didn't come home and I have no idea where he is.

I cried. I cried a lot. I did give myself to him that night but I did it just so that I could get away from it. I thought he wanted my body and once he gets it, he would care less about me and I'll get away from him.

I took in the hurt, giving myself to him. But when he confessed everything happened between us was a conspiracy of his dad, I didn't know what to think anymore. And when he said he lost his mother, the day I broke up with him it internally broke me apart seeing the pain in his eyes when he spoke and knowing how much he loved his mother.

I always wanted to meet his mother, always getting to hear about her from him. I knew his love for his mother was unconditional. It wasn't that I didn't know his mother died, I knew that from news. But news said it was from sudden heart attack cause oviously they concealed it. And the time I knew it was late and Azezal was gone. I had no idea where he was. I never tried to contact him and he never did too. But I never ever thought it would be because of me.

Yes. He's right. His mother would have been living this day if it weren't for me. I'm remoreful with pain but I'm also mad with him that he didn't tell me any of these even after he knew. It's his fault too. And I was too messed up to talk to him that night.

When I felt better, I asked Pelima about him cause he was no where to be seen, but she said she didn't know where he is. Maybe he is trying to give me space or avoid me and truly it helped me somewhat to relax and calm down to a better state but now it's agitating me so much more and I need to face him even when I'm kind of anxious to even see him.

"Hi. I'm your swimming coach, Natasha." A girl came in appearance all of a sudden breaking me apart from my thoughts. She looks young and fit. Pelima informed me Azezal hired a coach for me to help me with swimming and she was coming, so I was waiting for her here basically.

He said he would teach me himself first but now maybe he's too busy or maybe he doesn't want to bother teaching me after that. Either way maybe it's better for me that he won't be teaching me anymore cause I know how I deal with his proximity everytime he's so damn close. But it kind of hurt me.

"Hi. I'm Leera." I shook her hand which she forwarded to me for a handshake with a stiff smile.
"I know. I'm from New York Swimming Federation. Sir, hired me to coach you." She smiled at me. He bought a coach from New York just to train me?

A faint smile crossed my lips. I'm recovering my fear of water very slowly but its happening at least. And now for that I'm truly thankful to him even if I can't express my gratitude.

"Yeah I'm aware. I'll change and then we can start." I gave her a small smile and asked her to wait for me.

* * * * *

The only partner I have here is Pelima and Casper. Probably It's because of them I'm still managing to exist here anyhow. Casper runs after me the whole day and doesn't let me feel lonely.

I mostly spend my whole day with books, food and Casper probably. And Casper and my Favourite place is the backyard garden. Pelima is such a motherly figure who is so much affectionate towards me too and I love spending time with her.

"What are you making?" I asked Pelima, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Italian Soup. You haven't tasted my 'The Best Dish' I can make yet." She said in her Italian accent and I gave her a small smile watching her cook. "Eager to taste."