AFFLICTION

76 ~ [A Grave Sin]

LEERA POV

My eyes try to flutter open but it feels arduous like frailty and weakness is consuming me. I feel as if I'm carrying a heavy weight on my head. Moving my body a bit, I whimper because of the slight pain in my whole body.

Taking my time, I darted my eyes open and got in contact with the sight of the white ceiling above. Slowly I turned my head to the left and right side taking in the surrounding environment around me. I see that it's our room.

Different sorts of machines are placed throughout the room. The familiar beeping device next to me monitoring my vitals along with the IV that leads directly into my arm.

What happened to me? The question arises and instantly a sudden hit of pain on my head jerks me off completely. I touch it and find a bandage wrapped around my swollen head.

"Mrs. Pavano, you're awake!" A woman who appears to be a nurse approaches me. She holds my hand and helps me into sitting position. I moan in distress as I hurt myself more while moving.
"Please don't touch. I'll call the doctor." She stops me when I try to touch the bandage on my head again. Helplessly sighing I set my hands on my lap and slant back on the pillow.

The doctor arrives a few moments later and she checks on me. "How are you feeling now?" She asks and I silently reply, "Fine I guess."

"What happened to me?" I ask in a low voice.
"You suffered from a panic attack last night." Then I give her a confused stare. Yeah I did but that can't be the reason for why I am in this condition. As much as I can comprehend it's not because of that and it looks way worse than that but the pain in my head is making me feel like I lost half of my memory and can't think of anything except the inflicting pain.

She continues to make me out of my confusion. "Your housekeeper informed me about your panic attack last night and said how she helped you recover. Today your blood pressure dropped suddenly and you fainted. You were possibly anywhere near the stairs while it occurred and you lost your balance then fell down the stairs." I unintentionally nod my head and another strike of pain jolts me in the procedure. "Ahh."

"Are you facing any difficulties? I mean any mental stress or anything?" I bit my lip not knowing what to reply her.
"Not really." I lie. I'm not fine in both mental and physical state.
"Alright. Don't stress over anything. I'll inform Mr. Pavano that you're awake." My mouth dries up thinking about seeing him.

"NO," I realize I said it too loud. "I don't think I'm in a good condition now. I need to rest for a while. Please don't call him now."

"Okay as you please. And you'll be okay in a few days. Take bed rest and the nurse will always be here if you need anything." She assures me with a kind smile and takes her leave.

After that the nurse made me drink half a bowl of soup. I forcefully let it sunk down my throat as I lost all of my appetite from yesterday. "Please, you need to drink this entire bowl."
"I don't want to." I shoved the bowl away and gladly she didn't force me anymore.

"Can you give me some time alone? And please don't inform anyone that I'm awake for now. I mean- I don't want to see anyone now."

"Alright. Take some rest." Hopefully she listens to me. When I finally hear the door close after she left, I feel the inner agony hunting me again. Remorse washes down my soul. The agony and remorse which didn't let me sleep last night.

I wish I wasn't here where I'm now. I wish I wasn't in this condition rather death. I wish I was truly dying instead of dying out of guilt.

Everything was my fault, wasn't it? I'm the one to blame for being dumb and trapping Levi into this maze. If not for me Levi would have never been involved in anything.