HAPPIER; jra ✓

040 | it's not your fault

It had been a four days since Jack had returned home, and the couple had spend majority of the time just laying in her bed cuddling while sharing minimal words and spending more time in tears as they processed the lost of their baby.

Eating or making the smallest and simplest of meals, or even just getting dressed for the day was becoming a struggle for the both of them as more days passed. And although he wasn't willing to do much majority of the time, he always kept a close eye on Adalyn whenever she got out of bed.

And while Jack was still laying in bed at midday, blankly staring at the wall while Adalyn was in the bathroom, he soon heard the sound of soft cry's causing him to glance over his shoulder to the doorway which had been left open.

After giving things a few seconds, he had forced himself to get up out of bed, letting out a small sigh of sadness as he slowly walked over to the bathroom. Softly knocking on the door as he entered since he didn't want to startle her, then frowning while looking at his girlfriend sat on the floor of the bathroom.

"everything okay, gorgeous?" he broke the silence, also resting his back against the bath while sitting down beside her and lightly laying his arm over her shoulder as her head fell onto his chest. "it's hard, I know.."

"I just don't understand," she said through small whimpers as he wrapped his other arm around her, keeping her close to himself.

"do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm over all this waiting."

"you're still not..?"

Adalyn shook her head in response, "it's bullshit."

"mh.." he placed a small kiss on the top of her head. "do you want to take those pills?" she quickly shook her head once again. "okay.."

"I just don't understand how they call tell me something but the main sign of it isn't even happening," she cried out. "I just want it over with."

"do you want to go to your doctor for a second opinion?" Jack more so suggested knowing she wasn't going to take the medication, while wiping her tears away.

"not really.."

"okay," he softly rocked her, kissing her head once more. "we'll just keep waiting then."

"I don't want to wait though.."

"do you want to spend today in, take some more time to process, and book an appointment for tomorrow?" he asked. "then you have time to prepare to possibly hear the news again?"

"okay.."

"I love you very much, okay?" he planted yet another kiss on her head, this time keeping his head rested there.

"I'm sorry.."

"it's not your fault, you don't need to apologise. the worlds evil at times. I don't want to hear you say sorry for anything."

"I feel like this is karma," Adalyn sniffled, wiping away a few more tears.

"Karma for what?" he furrowed slightly.

".. I should've listened to my Mom's anti-abortion fuckin' bullshit," she muttered in annoyance. "even if I was sixteen."

"I'm sure you had a good reason at the time to make the decision that you did," he reassured her. "And I'm no therapist but I don't think you should ever hate yourself for doing what you deemed as best."

"I know I wasn't ready for a kid then.." she admitted. "but like what if that was my only chance?"

"Maybe sixteen, seventeen year old you could've been the happiest with your little baby and all went well but at the same time, you don't know how that could've ended.."

"mh.." she softly hummed.

"it's okay," he gently tightened his arms around her as she broke out in tears.

"can you not tell anyone?"

"of course I won't," he kissed her head.

"I feel pathetic. I've let everyone down-"

"don't say that, gorgeous" he politely interrupted her. "no one can ever be upset at you for what happened."

"I've let you down though-"

"no, you haven't," he shook his head. "it's not your fault. you couldn't control it."

"mh.."

"I love you," he softly ran one of his hands of her hair. "and I'm never going to leave you or let you deal with this pain alone. no kids or a million, I'm with you. we're in this together."

".. I just want a baby," she cried, slightly digging her nails into the fabric of hoodie while crossing her arms over her stomach and burying her head into her boyfriends chest as he turned to face her better.

"I know you do," he said while rewrapping his arms around her, sniffling slightly as his eyes also begun to water. "and I'll do anything to make your dreams come true.."

[ ₊✧ 💋 ∘* ☁️ ⋆ 🍒 ༉˚ ]

A/N

little bit of a shorter chapter but i'm backkk
(jk updates are still gonna be slow, i have a
very busy schedule)

anyway rant time, i had a whole part of
this chapter written out and it didn't save
so it deleted itself and i couldn't remember
exactly what i wrote and i'm annoyed cause
that part now isn't as good as it was