HAPPIER; jra ✓

041 | i don't want to

( TW!! there is mention of self harm
within this chapter. please feel free to skip
if the topics effect you. + a little reminder
that you are loved. <3 )

"Jack.." Adalyn sniffled, gently shaking the boy to wake him. Soon breaking out in more tears and her breath becoming unsteady as her focus moved to her arms and the fresh blood rolling down them. "Jack.."

"mh..?" he slightly rolled over after a few seconds to the direction in which she was, seeing her with the help of the bathroom light she had left on causing the bedroom to be dimly lit. "is everything okay?"

She shook her head.

"what's wrong?"

"I need your help.." she confessed.

"yeah, with what?" he softly asked while he sat up, his eyes then trailing down to her arms as she kept them held out. "come here," he pulled her into a small hug which she didn't hug back to. "let's go get these cleaned up," he placed a kiss on her head.

Letting go of her, he carefully hopped out of bed and grabbed one of her hands in a way she could keep her palms upwards and avoid at best dripping any blood onto the carpet, and leading her into the bathroom.

"I love you," Jack placed a couple kisses on her lips before getting her to sit down on her vanity chair. "do you have a first aid kit?" he asked, watching her shrug in response. "what do you usually use?"

"I don't.." she subtly shook her head. "they- it's- yeah.."

"it's okay gorgeous," he crouched down and wrapped his arms around her, feeling her hesitated to hug back this time. "you can hug me. If you get anything on me, I don't mind."

"I'm sorry," she cried out while tightly hugging him.

"gorgeous, it's okay," he reassured her, keeping his head rested against her before looking her in the eyes, a small frown on his face. "are you feeling okay?"

She softly shook her head, "I don't want to be here.."

"Do you want to go to my place?" he wiped away tears rolling down on side of her face, then the other. "We can just stay up in my room, we don't have to see my family."

"no, I don't want to be here," she repeated, her breath becoming really unsteady once again as tears flowed down her cheeks. "I'm over this. I don't want to do this."

"mh," he softly hummed to signal that he was listening since he didn't know how to respond, while keeping his arms around her and placing a few kisses on the crook of her neck.

"I don't understand how you do this."

"I'm hurting, I promise, but also you're going through a lot more than just the grief so you feeling like this is okay," he reasoned her. "I'm always going to be here and as long as you want me, I'm not going anyway, I'm not leaving you."

"why.."

"because I love you, I really do, and I don't want to loose you ever," a small smile formed on his face as her head fell onto his chest. "we're in this together, remember?"

Not receiving a response from her, Jack kept his arms wrapped around her, slowly rubbing his hand up and down her back and occasionally placing a kiss on the top of her head as she took deep breaths trying to calm down her tears and level her breathing pattern.

".. do you want to take care of everything and head to bed?" he broke the silence after a minute or so, watching as she hesitated. "I just want to make sure they're not going to get infected or anything then we don't ever have to talk about it again if you don't want to."

"I don't want to go to sleep.."

"Do you want to go for a drive?" he asked as his arms unwrapped from her and his hands found their way to hers, lightly stroking his thumb against the back of her hand. "Listen to some Doja?"

"I don't want to listen to Doja.." she muttered, her eyes following him as he grabbed a clean washcloth from the cabinet.

"No Doja?" he subtly furrowed, receiving a head shake as he dampened the cloth. "Okay, we can listen to anything, or even just drive around in silence. Does that sound good?"

"mh," she shrugged.

"if you want me to stop, please tell me," Jack softly spoke while grabbing ahold of one of her hands.

Adalyn quietly hummed in agreement before bringing her free hand up to her lips and begun to pick at them as she watched her boyfriend gently wipe the blood off her other arm, a few more tears flowing out of her eyes.

"it's okay, gorgeous," he placed a kiss on her forehead while setting the washcloth down on the vanity. "do you have any bandaids?"

"maybe in there," she mumbled as she pointed at one of the vanity drawers.

Finding a small first aid kit and a packet of bandaid in the drawer, Jack grabbed them out, placing them on the counter and finding the biggest size of bandaids. Sticking a few on her clean arm to cover and protect the cuts before carefully wrapping her wrist and forearm with a bandage wrap to keep them stuck down.

"and your other arm gorgeous," he laid her arm back down on her lap, wiping away a few of her tears then grabbing her arm, pulling it away from her face.

Repeating the same on her other arm while Adalyn continued to closely follow his actions, not saying anything while her throught wandered, make her feel slightly off by the scene taking place. Quickly making eye contact with him as he finished up before her gaze dropped to the floor and she wiped away a few more tears.

"I love you," Jack gently ran his hand over her hair, causing her to slowly move her eyes up to look at him. "kisses?" he received a small kiss from her. "we'll be okay."

"mh.." she watched as he packed away the first aid kit. "Jack.."

"yeah?" he turned around to face her, walking over closer to her as she signalled for him to do so.

She made him turn around before grabbing the washcloth off the counter top, dampening it a bit more and then wiping the blood smudges off his back from when she hugged him.

"thank you," he sent her a small smile as he turned back around, placing another kiss on her lips.

"can we just go to bed?" she asked, making eye contact with him.

"of course," he nodded, pulling her into a hug for a moment.

[ ₊✧ 💋 ∘* ☁️ ⋆ 🍒 ༉˚ ]

A/N

this took me so long to put the
things i was thinking into words :/