It's Not Selfish To Want To Live

Fruit Cup

After they finished up in the studio, taking far longer than they expected as always. When the three of them get into working on a cover together they don't stop until they physically can't keep going, it was the one and only time Minho forgot about all of his problems. They had made a plan for Hyunjin to drop by everyone's house to get their bags, and head over to Jeongin's house. "We should have planned better huh?" Minho said scrolling through the group chat, Jeongin was complaining about being stuck with "Seungmin the Bully" making Minho chuckle. "Yeah we need to stop spending 3 hours at the studio." Hyunjin sighed, "Yeah but it's so fun." Felix pouted from the backseat. As they pulled into Minho's drive way the two were in aw. "Wow hyung your house is so nice." Felix said, Minho deflated. He hated when people found out how wealthy his parents were, which made people think his parents were good people for some reason, instantly invalidating Minho's problems. "Mm, thank you, do you wanna come in, you ran out of water right Jinnie?" Minho asked while shifting to get out of the car, "Oh yeah hyung, if you don't mind." They all got out, heading to the front door. His mom wasn't there, she had texted him that she was going out with her girlfriends. Minho thought it was nice for his mom to get out, his father was a bit controlling, but mostly she was just always busy. They walked in, toeing off their shoes, and Minho walked them to the kitchen. Reaching up to get two glasses, and filling them up. "Here you go, I'll go get my stuff." Minho said, before turning around. "Oh hyungie can we see your room?" Felix was bouncing on his heels. Minho felt uneasy, his room was still packed up, only the necessities were out. " Uh sure'' Minho said quietly. They headed up the stairs, then into his bedroom. His room was quite big, it was rather bare, he never put up his posters, and small décor. It was a simple layout, his bed in the middle, closet area, and his desk area that was sectioned off with a bookshelf, that was his favorite spot in his room. The colors were boring, a darker gray, accompanied with a light powder blue. His room was bland, boring, nothing really going on, similar to himself. "Oh you still haven't unpacked hyung?" Felix asked, confused. While Hyunjin had worry swimming in his gut, something was off, he didn't know what though, his room was too empty. The Minho they were beginning to know would have a clean organized space, not something so...lifeless. "Yeah I guess I'm too lazy." Minho chuckled dryly, he knew the reason but he wasn't going to hint at it. "Okay this is all I needed, ready?" Minho grabbed his bag, "Yup thanks for the water hyung." Felix said smiling, Minho walked by and ruffled Felix's hair. Felix basked in the attention that was rare from Minho. And with that they were off to Felix's house, thankfully Hyunjin already had his things in his car.

" Finally hyungs, I can't believe you stood me up." Jeongin whined. "Yah, Innie we told you we were going to the studio." Hyunjin said while squishing Jeongin's face. Jeongin pouted harder, "Not for three hours though." he said with a huff. Minho chuckled, "Hyung's sorry, it won't happen again baby." Minho said, pinching Jeongin's cheek then walked away to put down his bag. Minho missed how much of a blushing mess Jeongin was, Felix laughed, "I know right?" Jeongin flushed harder. Seeing this side of Minho was extremely rare, let alone pet names. Minho was just in a somber, but good mood, caused by a mix of his panic attack earlier but dancing to feel better. His brain wasn't empty per say, more like blissfully calm. "Hyungs, you all stink, why not take a shower while we order food?" Seungmin said, wrinkling his nose. "Yeah a shower sounds nice, Innie has two showers, so hyung you can use one, while Lix and I use the other." Hyunjin said while rummaging through his bag. Oh wow they really are all that close huh, Minho thought, he would never be comfortable enough to shower with another person. "Are you sure? I wouldn't mind waiting if you want to take separate showers." Minho said awkwardly. Hyunjin chuckled, and Felix wrapped around Hyunjin. "Nah its no problem hyungie, its this little pervs guilty pleasure." Hyunjin dramatically sighed, "Hey it's yours too!" Felix defended. But Hyunjin was already dragging him up the stairs. "Oh hyungie, there's a bathroom right down that hall to the left, if ya need anything just yell, we'll be able to hear you." Jeongin said with a small smile. Minho thanked him and walked into the bathroom, instantly melting. How was he already so exhausted? Why was Jong-dae not leaving his mind? Before he could even think about anything further, he took a record speed shower. While drying off he noticed he ripped open a few of his deeper cuts and scrapes. With a heavy sigh, his heart started feeling heavy? Being surrounded by people who seemed to care about him, made him feel ashamed and disgusting for having these scars and wounds. He watched blankly as blood dripped down his legs, snapping out of it when he heard Jeongin yell over whatever game they were playing. Minho quickly cleaned himself up, bandaging the worst cuts and wrapping up the scrapes. He slipped on his clothes, he was feeling more comfortable to wear his other clothes rather than the plain hoodies and sweaters. A purple sweatshirt with a flower print in the middle, and black sweatpants. "Sungie would love this shirt." Minho mumbled, but caught himself off guard. Why am I even thinking about Jisung? Minho shook his head, and started cleaning up the bloody tissues, and got out of the bathroom. He made his way to the living room, to find Seungmin somehow reading while Jeongin was ranting and playing a Nintendo game. "Oh, that was fast hyung, we found a place we wanted to order from, come pick what you want." Seungmin called out putting his book down, he noticed how awkward Minho was, he thought it was quite cute especially him being fresh out of the shower. Minho nodded and made his way over, he was starting to feel nauseous from not eating all day. He usually has a protein shake in the morning, or early evening, and it was well past that time. Seungmin handed Minho his phone with the delivery app open, and they had chosen an Italian restaurant. That could be safe, and the dressing will be on the side, but would they think he was weird getting a salad while they all got what seemed to be individual pizza's? Seungmin silently watched as Minho looked as if he was fighting the hardest battle in his head. So he nudged Minho's arm causing him to jump and look over, "Hyungie order whatever you'd like. They have really good salads, I got the caesar salad." Seungmin smiled. Minho felt a wave of calm wash over him. Okay it'll be fine if I just get a salad. With a nod he picked the basic salad.