It's Not Selfish To Want To Live

Letters

Tw- Abuse, talk of injuries from abuse, and suicide letters
Take care of yourselves oki?
Also came to my realization that I never specified when this has been taking place. So for the boys, school started at the end of August, Minho joined a little over a month later, after Chan's birthday. Its been about four weeks.

Minho was past sobbing, he didn't know for how long, what time it was, and at this point wherever the hell he was. His father had put a blindfold over his eyes as soon as he entered his office, 'Since you're so weak we'll have to do this the hard way, you will become the obedient son we raised, you got that Minho.' his father threatened. He proceeded to give lashings with every sinister word, rule, and commands. After his father got tired and forced Minho to stay kneeling and put noise canceling headphones on him. The senses deprivation drove Minho's anxiety to places it's never been, he was wailing at this point, his body hurt, he felt his skin blustering, he felt so unsafe, unloved, and hopeless. Utterly hopeless.

Minho has truly never wished for death harder than he did that afternoon, almost asking his father for a mercy killing.

~~~

Jisung was hyperventilating. He could feel Chan rocking him back and forth, Changbin holding a water out, rubbing circles into his back. But he could not, and would not calm down. Minho didn't come to school, and sure, he was maybe resting. They wanted him to just be resting. But after finding out Changbin was now blocked, worry filled every crevice in their bodies. Then the cherry on top, they were in the studio, trying to work through the stress. When Changbin got a call from his uncle, who was practically his older brother, ' Hey Bin, you have a friend, Lee Minho right? While I can't disclose why or what happened, he was discharged last night. Just please reach out to him and make sure he is alright, please Bin I'm worried.' Changbin froze, his uncle never talked like that. When he explained it to Chan and Jisung, Jisung felt his mind shatter from the sheer pressure of anxiety that coursed through him. It was taking everything in him to not yell at Chan to drive them to Minho's house.

Changbin was typing as fast as he could, his uncle never talked about his patients, and was never this seemingly worried for one. 'Is he okay? No one can get in touch with him, we're literally so worried, at school he didn't look good at all Yoonu hyung.' He hit send and sighed, instantly going back to trying to calm Jisung down. After Jisung lashed out for the third time, he felt his phone buzz. ' I can say he's doing much better, we treated him and if he rests and stays on the medicine I prescribed he'll be fine. Although I'm more worried about...other things. I just hope his parents find him help.' Changbin's eyebrows furrowed, rapidly texting him back 'His parents are the whole damn reason Minho was sent to the hospital, so what are you talking about??' As it sent he glanced up at Chan, Chan sent him a 'what's wrong' look. Changbin sighed, Jisung should hear this. "My Uncle said Minho is doing better, he got medicine and stuff. But he also said he hopes his parents finds him help...so I'm assuming the hospital doesn't think it was abuse." Changbin said with a big sigh. Jisung looked up in pure anger, "What the fuck- UGH of course they wouldn't think think that, his stupid ass fuck faced father is strategic." Jisung huffed, "Okay okay let's calm down alright? Sungie... he's probably saying that because of what they may have found when treating him." Chan tried to dance around the subject because half of the boys didn't know about Minho's self harm. Jisung gasped, "Fuck..." Changbin looked between them confused, "What do you mean Channie?" he asked, tilting his head, trying to figure out what they were talking about. Chan looked at him, hesitantly looking back at Jisung. Jisung shook his head. "It's something personal Minho didn't want us figuring out, I'm so sorry Binnie but it's Minho who should tell you, but maybe... we should tell your Uncle about the potential abuse? Maybe the hospital will be more effective in getting child protection services?" Chan suggested, Changbin didn't wait for his Uncle to reply back 'Okay hyung I think we're worried for two different serious issues about him, but we all think he's being physically (obviously mentally too) abused. We were just thinking maybe the Hospital or you could call Child Protective Services??' he made sure it was sent, and put his phone down with a heavy sigh. "I've never felt so useless and stressed in my life, I- I just want him to be okay..." Changbin felt tears sting his eyes. He closed them to prevent tears from dripping, and felt Jisung fling himself onto his lap. Tightly hugging him, "I know hyung we all do, God I love Minho so much I just need him to be okay and safe with us." Jisung said in a watery tone. "Hmm we will figure this out and keep him safe, no matter how much he shuts us out, if he never wants to hang out with us again, at least he'll be safe." Chan patted both of their heads, Changbin felt Jisung sniffle in his chest, he pulled a hand up to soothe him.*buzz* he reached over and opened his phone, he audibly groaned "Fucking shit..."