It's Not Selfish To Want To Live

Possessed

TW:
Weight talk-numbers
Eating Disorder habits
Implied Sexual Assault/Abuse
Anxiety
Light Smut

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･

"Sungie...What's the matter?" Chan asked, looking away from his laptop to see Jisung lost in thought for the sixth time. Jisung pursed his lips and tilted his head, then just shrugged. Changbin sighed dropping his pen, and rolled his chair over to Jisung's bumping his arm. "Sung you've sighed eight times, what's up?" Jisung scrunched his nose and tilted his body until he fell onto Changbin's shoulder. "I'm just...worried about Minho..." Chan nodded, "We all are...are you...specifically worried about something?" Jisung nodded, idly scratching his thigh, Changbin reached around and held his hand, "Sungie you know you can literally come to us about anything unless it's something personal Min hyung doesn't want you to talk about..." Jisung sighed, "No no, Min would never...make me keep something like that but...I'm just nervous. I feel like there have been...developments and I have no idea how to approach them." Chan hummed, "Developments? Minho would always be open to talking about things, you know that Sungie." Jisung sucked his teeth, "These developments...do they involve Minho's suggestive teasing?" Jisung whined and hid his face in his hand and nodded. Changbin chuckled, "Our Sungie baby's nervous." "Shut up...this is serious, I don't...I don't know what to do at all, and then pile on what's happened to him...He's opened up yeah but I have no idea what actually happened to him so I don't know what to do, what not to do, what would be the wrong thing to say, would he panic, would he not, what if I ruin our whole relationship wha-" "Jisung, take a breath, you're working yourself up." Chan softly said. Jisung looked at him and took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds. "All of those concerns are very valid, it's a complicated situation, but I know Minho is probably concerned the same way you are, so you too should talk about it." Chan soothing stated, Jisung nodded, holding onto Changbin's hand harder, "Sungie, while I know Lixie's and Min's situation is completely different, Lixie struggled with opening up but when he finally did it was stressful yes, but a comfortable conversation, talking about boundaries and such will always sound scary, but once you start it's not scary at all." Jisung hummed, "Mm, that makes sense...I just want him to know he's safe...the things he says when he has nightmares...I can't even fathom what he's been through." Changbin hummed, "Yeah that was...scary." Chan sighed, "Talk to him sweetheart, wait until you are both ready and have the time to have a calm conversation, don't wait until it's the heat of the moment." Jisung nodded, "Thanks hyungs, you're the best." Changbin patted his head, "Mm, is that brain more open to working now?" Jisung nodded and sat up. Chan smiled and patted his leg. "You're a good boyfriend Sungie, you two are perfect for each other." Jisung flushed, "Ya think so?" Chan nodded with a smile and turned back to his laptop, Jisung picked up his pencil and scribbled some words, totally not for another song about Minho...

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･

They eventually went to sleep but Minho went to his own room, he was...overwhelmed. He could feel his skin crawling the more he thought about him. He called Jisung, putting it on speaker and cuddled into his squirrel plush. "Hey baby, you okay?" Minho sighed, "Yeah just going to sleep..." He could hear tapping, Chan and Changbin talking about something in the distance, "Mm, good night my baby, get ready to listen to a sleepy argument." Minho giggled, "Good night Sungie." He did indeed hear two very sleepy arguments, their rambling put him right to sleep.

He jolted awake, a heavy gasp sucking in air. His hand flew to his chest, and he squeezed his eyes, hearing the faint whispers in his dream repeating. He bit his lip to suppress a noise, he looked over at his phone, seeing he was still on call with Jisung. He laid back down and covered his mouth with his pillow. Hot tears slipped down his face. The pain still searing through him, he clawed at the cuts on his thigh to help ground him, but that didn't work... "Such a fucking attention seeker, wanna hurt more huh?" Jong-dae gripped his cut-up thigh and continued- He shuddered, he shakily reached over to mute himself, letting out a sob that shredded his throat out into his pillow. He whimpered and cowered into his blankets. Jumping when he heard something on the other line of the phone, "Min hyung? You okay?" Fuck why was he still awake its three a.m... He gasped for a breath, but everything was making him want to cry even more. Jisung dropped into a small whisper, "I don't know if you accidentally muted but if you didn't, I love you, you're gonna be okay, you're safe at home baby." Minho hit his pillow with his fist as he cried harder, he reached through blurry eyes and unmuted, recoiling back into himself. "There you are my love, you're okay." Minho sniffled, huffing out a pathetic cry. Another wave of crying hit him. "S-Sungie..." "I'm right here baby." "I'm...sorry, had a nightmare..." Minho tried to take a full breath but it got stuck, "You're alright love, it was just a nightmare, it's in the past, you're safe now." Minho nodded and let out a stuttering breath, "I'm okay..." "Mm, you're okay baby." Minho calmed down a bit and slumped into his pillow. "W-Why are you awake still?" There was shuffling on the other line, "Uh...I swear I was laying down but I just got a few ideas." Minho smiled, wiping his cheeks, "Go to sleep soon okay?" "You too baby." Minho hummed, he was scared to go back to sleep, but he was so tired...